How to Enjoy

Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.

enjoy
1. To receive pleasure or satisfaction from.
2. To have the use or benefit of: enjoys good health.

Maybe I need to break down and revisit my attempt to finish Piper's Desiring God. Maybe I need to read my Bible more. Maybe I need to pray more. I don't know.

What I do know is that I do not know how to enjoy myself without wondering if I'm just wasting time, energy, money, or some other resource that would better serve to glorify God by some other means.

According to the Shorter Catechism (quoted above), we're to glorify God and enjoy Him, not ourselves, right?

I feel like I'm in some old cartoon where there's an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. Only I feel there are two devils whispering.

"Let your hair down," one argues. "You're only hung up on God's blessings because you cannot accept His grace. Just like His gift of salvation, you want to earn it. You can't. Get over it and rest in His grace. Rest in the blessings He's given you. Suffering will return soon enough, so rest now."

But the other is just as persuasive. "How can you feel comfortable spending a most of the week at the beach? Granted it's not large funds being spent, you still have debts to be paid. Should not your energies be focused first on those obligations? Yes, you're payments are made on time, but there's still a balance to be paid. Not just that, but when was the last time you really gave sacrificially? When have you suffered because of your giving? When was the last time you gave all? I'm not just talking money, but what about giving up your time, or your energy, or your comfort to serve?"

I know God blesses me constantly. Fifty things just popped into my mind from the last couple days. I trust He is sovereign. And as a result I need to trust when He brings peace as well as suffering. At the same time I must be obedient. That means loving "the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

The place I've been before, but it seems distant now, is where I seek to glorify Him and enjoy Him before anything else. I'm not a fool, nor a legalist (is that a word?). I am certain without His grace, without His Spirit, I'll never be moved toward such a goal. But once I am seeking only Him, once I have removed every desire for anything before Him, crushed every idol, no matter what is happening around me whether it is suffering, or peace, or vacations at the beach, if He is object of my enjoyment, I've hit the mark.