... neither poverty nor riches

What motivates you?

2010-06-20T00:09:00.000-04:00

I have been meeting with several guys from church again. An iron sharpens iron thing. Through our discussions the subject of church attendance has come up several times. To kind of capture the context, let ask a few questions first:
1. Of the fifty-two Sundays a year, how many of them do you spend at your home church?
2. How many weekend trips or vacations are planned without regard to being in attendance at your home church (i.e., leave after church, make sure you're back Saturday to be at church on Sunday)?
3. What priorities take precedent to your attendance of Sunday worship of your home church?
Given it's already 11:26 and I have church in the morning, I know I'm not going to get into this as far as I want to, but I want you to think about this (as I have over the past few weeks): What is your commitment level to your church? Is it more of what programs are available for me and my kids? Or is your church a second home where you seek to serve more than be served? Or is it more of a combination of the two?
My fear is that we don't invest into our church, and I don't mean tithing. We don't seek ways we can serve, but wait until we are asked. We don't build into the lives of each other (and I don't mean getting together to play softball) When was the last time you spoke the gospel into someone at church? To your spouse? To yourself? Is the church you belong to your primary circle of friends? If not, why? The last thing I want is to guilt anyone into some legalistic action, but I want you to genuinely search yourself and find out on which foundation you've built your life on.
Ideally this is best done before the waves reveal it for you. I ran across a verse yesterday that keeps coming to mind. I could look it up on the internet and look all smart, but to be honest I cannot remember the whole thing or where it's from, but it speaks of "joy inexpressible."
If you were to face some challenge, some major storm, would your joy remain? What is the source of your joy?
Paul Tripp does this illustration where he shakes a water bottle and splashes water everywhere. He then asks, why did water come out? Most answer, because the bottle was shaken. But he says, no. Water comes out because that is what is inside the bottle.
When you're shaken, what comes out? When some other person on the road does something foolish, I shout, Idiot! When the boys continue to be zoned onto the tv or computer when asked to set the table for dinner, I quickly become irritated. I would like for it to be some righteous anger, but to be honest yet again, it's not. It's selfishness and sin on my part, despite their action, or inaction as the case may be. Kinda says something about my heart, doesn't it? What motivates that response? What motivates me?

Community

2010-05-16T23:02:00.005-04:00

God, as He often does, has introduced another reoccurring theme in my life. From multiple angles different concepts tend to repeat themselves in the effort that what He is trying to teach me penetrates this thick skull. This time, it's the idea of community.

Lesson 3 of Paul Tripp and Timothy Lane's How People Change workbook focuses on importance for Christians to live in community: "But these are some of the very reasons why community is such a big part of God's plan to transform us into the image of Christ. The more we understand our own hearts, the more we see that it takes a work of God's grace to transform self-absorbed individuals into a community of love. Being in a community shows us our need for change and helps bring it about." (pg 3.5)

So what am I doing to pursue community? I guess I have to first decide what that means; what is the type of community that God is calling me to be part of?

First it must be gospel-centered. It's not a social group that only gets together for the Jaguar games (when they're not blacked out) nor simply gets together to scrap book, then, in either case, closes in a quick prayer. One of the purposes of the community must be to speak the gospel to and into each other continually. This world distracts my attentions and affections away from God too easily. We need to be refreshed by the gospel repeatedly, reminded that, yes, I was a sinner at enmity with God, but by the selfless obedience of His Son, by His shedding of Blood and Death on the Cross, by His Conquering of the grave, His Resurrection, I am saved. Hallelujah! As a good friend once shared with me, we have a thirst for Christ. A marathon runner does not simply have one of sip of water at the beginning of the race, hoping to complete it, but instead seeks replenishment continually throughout the race. We are to hold out that cup for each other.

Bind my heart

2010-05-06T23:42:00.004-04:00

How many times will I delete this line? I'm tired and it's too late at night to try to write anything intelligible or spelled correctly. It's been too long between posts to try to fill in where I've been and why. Especially after rereading their promises of commitment to writing, to sharing, to stopping and examining my path. Am I following the way He constantly lights for me, or have I wandered . . . again?

"Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;"

His faithfulness is amazing.
God is good all the time.

It's been an interesting week. I'll expand more later, but for now here's a link to a little something that may or may not affect us. Check out the comments - there's more there than in the news article.

Wrestling

2009-12-02T22:28:00.003-05:00

Flipping through the channels the other night, the boys and I ended up on the horrible remake of the Beverly Hillbillies. The cheesy humor was close to their level thus they enjoyed Jethro and his sixth grade education. Another scene they found amusing involved Elly May soundly defeating the wrestling team captain. During their match she uses several moves she developed back home such as the "Clampett Clamp" (a choke hold) and the "Hickory Nut Cracker" (use your imagination). After each move the boy painfully informs her that her moves are illegal.

Almost two months ago I began to consider Jacob's wrestling match with God. Jacob understood what it meant to be blessed by God. Even after wrestling all night, he would not let go until he was blessed. Even after his hip was put out of joint, he would not let go until he was blessed. Then he said ,"Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." (Genesis32:28)

Have I striven with God? Do I wrestle with Him? With His word? Do I fully grasp the depth of His blessing?

Since He's placed these questions upon me, this passage has continued to pop up. The Dodrill's pastor referenced Jacob wrestling with God during his comments at Stephen's funeral. Yesterday I was listening to Matt Chandler of The Village Church in Dallas and he discussed the need to wrestle with Gods word.

So I've printed up a reading chart and I'm going to start wrestling. My hip already hurts.

Pursuit/Thankful

2009-11-30T22:58:00.003-05:00

Thought about getting back to this blog thing today. Trying to figure out why I quit. Was I too busy? Too tired? Too lazy? Probably more the last reason than I care to admit.

I've been reading Em's posts, looking forward to the next one. I've seen her pour out some of herself, her sadness, especially for her sister. I know it's been a great tool for her to work through her grief. That's what I miss about writing. I need to force myself to think about my life, to reflect one where I fail and where I succeed. I need to reflect on the only one who matters, God. I need to practice resting in Him.

That's why I'm back: to consider my pursuit of Him.

The family went camping up to Ft Clinch over the Thanksgiving holiday with family and friends. Granted it's not a Norman Rockwell way to share a Thanksgiving meal, but now that we've been camping the past three Thanksgivings, I'd have to say it has become a wonderful tradition. We even had some good cornbread dressing this time around.

But the next night really shined. We were gathered around a hot fire while the cold of night crept in and Emily asked Alex, "What are you thankful for?" For the next few minutes we shared the many blessing of the trip and of the year. Especially with the tragedy of Stephen's death, it was healing to remember and reflect on the many blessings God continuously showers upon us.

Not too far from my last post

2009-07-02T23:20:00.002-04:00

I don’t know where I’ve been. Kinda like that time between the season finale and the start of the next season of your favorite tv program, I’ve been in some sort of re-run wilderness.

Had a fantastic lunch with a friend, a good friend, the other day. As my my lunch hour stretched into two, I regretted having to put the conversation on hold. Time and time again the topics echoed soul failures in my own walk over the past few months.

I still desire to seek Him, the one who chose me long before I had a clue.

I still desire to be a disciple. I cannot say I’m exactly excited to give up this life (in a flesh sense, a very comfortable life at that) and follow Him, but, now that I’m thinking about it, I am excited. There’s a freedom in placing your life in the hand of the one in control.

I do not look forward to pain, suffering, or even inconvenience, but He is faithful. Please pray that He will strengthen my faith that I may be obedient to the tasks He has placed before me.

Lord, please help me love you and those you place in my life. Give me strength to serve with integrity.

What’s Your Title?

2009-03-04T00:03:00.001-05:00

I was reading a devotion the other day from RZIM titled Easy Living and it forced me to stop and think about who I am.

Am I a Christian? Yes. That one was easy.

Am I a pilgrim? What does this even mean? What is a pilgrim? I think back on my recent humanities class where we discussed the pilgrimages to the huge cathedrals in Europe that the folks would make. Was it a once a year sacrifice? Or did it take longer to save up for that type of journey then?

Am I a disciple? This is where I want to be – a follower of Christ, not just one who believes But what are the characteristics of a disciple? What did the first disciples sacrifice to follow Christ? Their livelihoods, families, friends, social standing, even their lives. [cliché alert] If I was on trial today for being a disciple of Christ, would there be enough evidence to convict?

There’s a term that keeps coming up in different things I’m reading: the supremacy of Christ. I am certain He is better than anything else, but do my actions, does my life, reflect the supremacy of Christ?

A life lived exalting Christ would be free of idols; they’d be sacrificed in our worship of Him. Yeah, there are little idols in my life, but they are just tools to worship my true idol, myself. I sing songs every week declaring I will love only Him, serve only Him, worship Him alone, but I fail, often before I even get out the doors of church.

How do I sacrifice my life to live a life the reflects the supremacy of Christ? When I ask this, I know a good chunk of me is really asking, How do I sacrifice without any inconvenience or pain? Or even better, how do I sacrifice without really giving up anything?

I frequently find myself placing grace between me and the alter. Does God really want me to give up spending two hours a night reading about the world’s ills? If I just start giving things up, isn’t that a bit legalistic – that can’t be better than giving up something with which God has blessed me, can it? I can continue to rationalize myself away from sacrifice all day.

But now, miles away, I can see more clearly (though I’m not much stronger) that on the other side of sacrifice are even richer blessings – not health, or wealth, but a closer, deeper relationship with Christ.

Bible Study Magazine Contest

2009-02-24T21:42:00.000-05:00

Bible Study Magazine and Mars Hill are giving away 20 copies of Mark Driscoll’s new book, Vintage Church. Not only that, but they are also giving away five subscriptions to Bible Study Magazine and a copy of their Bible Study Library software! Enter to win on the Bible Study Magazine Mark Driscoll page, then take a look at all the cool tools they have to take your Bible study to the next level!

What is the recession for?

2009-02-13T23:12:00.003-05:00

Seems like longer that a few days ago, but just Monday Nate suggested we check out John Piper’s message, What is the recession for? (this link will take you to the text, or from there you can select to either listen to or even watch the message – which I highly recommend because the text fails to convey Piper’s passion).

Not only have I ‘borrowed’ his title, but I am going to ‘borrow’ some of his words, too. Piper points out five of God’s purposes behind the recession:

He intends for this recession to expose hidden sin and so bring us to repentance and cleansing.
He intends to wake us up to the constant and desperate condition of the developing world where there is always and only recession of the worst kind.
He intends to relocate the roots of our joy in his grace rather than in our goods, in his mercy rather than our money, in his worth rather than our wealth.
He intends to advance his saving mission in the world—the spread of the gospel and the growth of his church—precisely at a time when human resources are least able to support it. This is how he guards his glory.
He intends for the church to care for its hurting members and to grow in the gift of love.

The rest of his message goes on to break down these five lessons God has for us. Again, please listen to it, my take on it is weak at best and my hope is to stir some thought about our thoughts on money.

Here’s something to think about. Add up your total expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, food, etc, etc) and figure what you spend per day. I’m going to use the average American income of $26,000 for my calculations, as well as assume the average American does not save (yours may be more or less). Only making $26,000 still gives the average American $71.25 per day on which to live. Thinking about Piper’s second point above, 50% of the world’s population lives on less than $2 a day. 80% of the world lives on less than $10 per day.

To further put things in perspective, a single person household making less that $10,400 living in the lower forty-eight, is considered living in poverty. At that amount, one still has $28.49 per day on which to live. In the poorest countries on the world, the poverty line is set at $1.25 a day ($2.50 a day in developing countries).

For a family of six in the lower forty-eight, here in America, the line is set at $28,400 a year or about $12.96 per day per family member and easily in the richest 20% in the world.

All this to say: when was the last time you complained about your financial situation? Being employed in a profession directly related to the number of homes being built, I know I'm guilty, especially as my overtime hours have dwindled to nothing. And not just that, but how much longer am I going to have a job?

And that, sports fans, is exactly what is so incredible about this recession (Piper’s 3rd point listed above), it will help me refocus on Him instead of my wealth, my stuff, my comfort.

To be honest, I’m a bit nervous. The opposite of comfort is pain, and I’m not a big fan of pain. But it’s like the dangerous prayer of asking God to do whatever He needs to do to so that you might draw closer to Him. My list of ‘whatever items’ are giving up cable tv, living in a small home, etc – they’re things I’ve already done. God’s list of ‘whatever items’ tend to be different that ours (what did Jesus ask of the rich young ruler? or John and James? etc).

It is the hope He promised and the truth that He works all things for the good of those who love Him that I can truly pray: God, I don’t know how the economy is going to pan out, but You do. I pray You use this time to turn the people of this nation, and the world, away from our sin and, instead, toward You. Please let Your light shine through Your people. Amen.

The two sources I used for the facts mentioned above are: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_in_the_United_States

Blogger: Hope and a Future - Create Post

2009-01-24T08:41:00.001-05:00

Not much time for something funny…this is a quick giggle for the moms.

Blogger: Hope and a Future - Create Post

What Entertains Me?

2009-01-22T22:12:00.001-05:00

I’ve enjoyed project playlist the past month or so. As I reconnect with old friends on facebook, it’s been fun listening to the songs I enjoyed 20+ years ago. But as I listen to some of these songs, they tear at me, at my faith, at a holiness God has called me to pursue.

Several weeks ago a friend on facebook posted a John Piper quote that has stuck with me: “there are almost no movies that don't ask me to be entertained by attitudes, motives, & actions which Jesus died to eradicate.”

I hate that quote, or better, my flesh hates that quote. It forces me to think about the idols I’ve spent years tenderly nourishing. It brings to mind 1 Corinthians 6:12, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything.”

The problem with thinking about idols is that, as a Christian, you’re bound to realize they’re a problem, that they separate you from God, that they’re purpose is to be smashed.

But, I’ve built parts of my life on a foundation of idols, despite the Sunday school song! If I go smashing up these idols, I might mess up this comfortable life. I’m kinda happy here.

Enslaved? Boy, Paul nailed me on that one.

Despite the painful cry of my flesh, I know that with each idol smashed, I’ll find myself closer to Him, Jesus Christ, the only source of true Joy.

Homeschool Family

2009-01-06T21:25:00.000-05:00

Where Do You Fight Your Battles?

2008-12-29T22:41:00.003-05:00

Several days ago while reading Chamber’s My Utmost for His Highest, I ran across the idea of where battles are fought. He suggested that battles are to be fought internally, before God. If you wait to fight it externally, you’ve already lost. Today, scanning through radio stations, I found Ravi Zacharias on Focus on the Family. I only caught the last thirty seconds of the show, but he referred to fighting private battles.

So where do you fight your battles? Lately, I feel I’ve been bumbling from one battle to another, accidently turning from certain defeat into another front, all the while miraculously keeping my head like some mixed-up combination of Maxwell Smart and Mr. Magoo. Some I have not fought privately first. The others, I cannot seem to remember the lessons the private battle taught, nor the techniques for victory it revealed.

What these battles have reminded me is the importance of preparation. The first to Biblical examples of battle preparation that came to mind were David rejecting Saul’s armor, then selecting the stones prior to battle with Goliath and the second, God trimming the number of Gideon’s troops before his battle. Both examples ignore human reasoning, but instead both David and Gideon are left to rely on the only one that could win the fight.

In The Green Letters, Miles Stanford suggests that once you try to fight a battle you’ve lost. Though we may not see the immediate victory in our battles (and I dare suggest that what we would consider a victory, may not be what God has decided would be a victory), they are complete and we are victorious. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 ESV)

Not that we shouldn’t prepare. Paul even uses the imagery of battle preparation in the sixth chapter of his letter to the Ephesians when reminding them (and us) to “be strong in the Lord.” But more on preparation later.

Lustful Thoughts

2008-12-04T22:21:00.007-05:00

Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you, by the gazelles and the wild does of the field: do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time. Song of Solomon 2:7 (HCSB)

Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you, by the gazelles and the wild does of the field: do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time. Song of Solomon 3:5 (HCSB)

Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you: do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time. Song of Solomon 8:4 (HCSB)

I've been reading Mark Driscoll's Porn-Again Christian. It's a short (and very frank) e-book written for men about God's view of sex presented in stark contrast with fallen man's view of sex. I don't know if I'd recommend it to any female. If you're married and you're curious, have your husband read it first; he'll know if it will offend you or not. I've read some to Emily. Almost from sentence to sentence she'll flip from "that's good stuff" to "he's a chauvinist pig". That's the extent of my warning.

It sounds as if his church is mainly 20-somethings, typically unchurched, and apparently sex, God's view of sex, is a common question presented to him. On the Mars Hill Blog, there is a Christian Sex Q&A (another thing I've read to Emily where she responded as I mentioned above) and also a sermon series called The Peasant Princess: A Love Story from the Song of Songs.

Anyways, some where while reading through all this literature one point really jumped out at me: "do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time." In other words, we should not stir up sexual/romantic passions outside of marriage.

In Porn-Again Christian, Driscoll says, "The purpose of pornography is clearly lust. And, lust for anyone but your wife is condemned by God as a grievous evil repeatedly throughout both the Old and New Testament."

Lust.

I happened to be around three woman, probably all in their thirties, the other night as they discussed Twilight.

"The Twilight thing is not going to work out this weekend," said one.

"Don't worry about it," answered the second. "I've already seen it twice."

To which the first girl said, "Me, too." Followed by a round of schoolgirl giggles and some Twilight movie commentary that was basically addressed in this manner (I hope I'm remembering the names right):

"Ooohh, Edward."

"Well, I prefer Jacob."

"Mmmmmm."

"Why would these two guys be fighting over such a stupid girl?"

Lust. The stirring up and the awakening of passion outside of marriage. There may not be sex, but just like pornography for men, these books, after reading numerous blog comments by women who have read them, stir up passions and awaken desires that are to be only for your spouse. And to market this to our teen girls, calling it acceptable because of the lack of violence and physical sex, is dangerous.

As to what stirs the passions of a teen boy vs. a teen girl (or even a husband and a wife), I'm guessing most of us know. To allow a teen girl (or woman) to stir up her passions through the 'romance' of any book series, is the same as giving a teen boy a copy of Playboy and calling it okay. Both of these kids can be intelligent enough to recognize the object of their lust is fictional, but the lust exists just the same.

Credits: The image above was taken from Mark Driscoll's Blog.

It's the end of the world - Cover Tune Grab Bag Style

2008-11-23T19:29:00.000-05:00

Why is deflation bad?

2008-11-19T12:50:00.002-05:00

I'm still trying to figure it out. I'll write more later, but this is a neat article, followed by some very amusing, sometimes sarcastic, and even intelligent comments.

Do you know why deflation is bad?

Are You Happy?

2008-11-18T10:51:00.002-05:00

Interesting story here.

2008-11-15T23:00:00.001-05:00

Church Split Reconciliation from Peacemaker Ministries on Vimeo.

Logan

2008-11-10T21:56:00.002-05:00

Padeobaptism and Amillennial Eschatology

2008-11-09T22:34:00.004-05:00

These big words always create an awkwardness for me when we have a baptism service at our church. For those who do not know, Em and I go to an Evangelical Free church. Technically it's not a denomination but an association, but if you are not familiar with their approach, our church, Eastside Community, has a 'reformed baptist' feel. We have many baptists/former baptists at our church; they're probably the largest chunk of those who attend. Reformed meaning a commitment to the sovereignty of God with a theological approach summarized in T.U.L.I.P., and baptist in the sense that they are credobaptist and hold a premillennial view of the end times.

I am not a debater. I am not quick witted or a gifted oral communicator. When I have the chance to sit and think, I can usually put my worlds together enough through writing that I can communicate my thoughts to those reading. I know we are called to be able to give a defense of the Gospel, unless I was in a class of fifth or sixth graders, I'm sure my arguments for the Gospel would not stand against an atheist with a bit of mental stamina. Likewise, since the folks at our church are no slouches in their knowledge of theology and quick to present a defense of their beliefs in a logical, scriptural manner, I rarely bring up the that I feel they are wrong in both areas I previously mentioned.

I'm not sure why, but I've always questioned premillennial eschatology; not in an active sense, but something about it concerned me though I never sought to find out what about it seemed out of place. The churches I was in as a young christian did not require me to define my theological beliefs. Infant baptism has been a part of every church I've been a member of until now. In fact, most of my theological growth occurred in a Presbyterian church (PCA) under a pastor that grew up in a baptist church. Until college his belief in the rapture and believer's baptism was solid, but as he studied further he found those beliefs challenged until they succumbed to that belief both infant baptist and an amillennial approach to endtimes more accurately fit the the teachings of the Bible. That church was also made of a large chunk of baptists/former baptists. Perhaps they suffered the same discomfort I feel now.

I have missed every baptism service at Eastside to date. Emily was there for the service this morning. I stayed at home with two sick kids. In the past the baptism services always occurred during the Sunday evening service, an easy service to miss. This morning, if needed, I was to assist the baptees out of the baptismal and provide them with towels. Though I love to serve, it was going to be awkward.

This evening I've been thinking. We chose Eastside because of their great teaching commitment to reformed theology and expository teaching, but also because though credobaptists, they would not require our children who were baptised as infants to be re-baptised when they become members. This was a major problem for us prior to Eastside. We attended Em's aunt's church, a baptist church, and developed some strong friendships, but new to baptist teachings, when we realized the kids, as well as Emily, would be required to be baptised again for us to join, we were forced to leave in search of another body of believers. Anyways, back to what I was thinking, Elise is our last child, outside a miracle or adoption. Emily had her tubes tied after Elise. Four kids were enough for us. But what if we were to have another child. Committed to a convenantal approach of theology, I believe baptism is to the New Testament church, what circumcision was in the Old Testament. Circumcision was a outward expression of the Spirit-given faith that was required of a man and all the males in his household. Hebrew infants were circumcised to show their position in the family of believers though they had not believed themselves. Given the language of the New Testament, households being baptised, etc it is clear to me this was the view of baptism held in the early church. Again, if we were to have another child, I'd desire the child to be baptised as instructed by scripture. If the church I am currently attending would not baptise that child, am I attending the right church?

Fishing for commitments to credobapitism among the men of Eastside at our retreat this weekend, I joked that it would be so much easier if we sought more traditional reformed roots and simply sprinkled the baptism candidates instead of all the work it took to get the baptismal ready. Though the reactions were not hostile by any means, the suggestion was firmly rejected.

I don't believe my amillennial approach to eschatology would be a hill to die on, but I feel stronger toward the baptism issue. I've a meeting tomorrow night with some men from church regarding some other things, but I'm going to bring it up. We'll see how it goes.

2008-11-06T20:49:00.004-05:00

I really didn't notice that I was different from the other kids until high school. It's a shocking thing to find out at that age. There's a lot of peer pressure at that time in one's life; you'd think someone wouldn't have pointed it out to you.

I always assumed I was like my family. There were never any huge signs that pointed me in the direction to see that I was different. So there I was in history class, I still remember it clearly. Mrs. Graham, the best history teacher I remember having, passed out the test. It was not your standard test, but a test that analyzed who you were. It was the self-graded sort of test where you get so many points depending on how much you agree or disagree with about thirty or forty statements. A couple questions caused me to pause and think but all-in-all I believe I was one of the first finished.

"If you scored between 30 and 50 raise your hand," directed Mrs. Graham. Those in that range complied, then lowered their hands at her prompting. Mrs. Graham continued asking everyone to raise their hands for certain scores and the first few groups covered everyone in the class, except me. Then she went through several score ranges where no one raised their hand, until finally she asked if anyone scored higher. Not realizing what quality was evaluated by this test or how different I was, I raised my hand, solo and unashamed. Heck all my friends were in this class. They knew me; I had nothing to hide.

"This test," explained Mrs. Graham, "shows where you land on the political spectrum. The lower the score, the more to the left you fall in your political values. The higher the score the more to the right. Josh, you're about here." Everyone followed her finger as it slowly slid to the right side of the political spectrum poster above my desk, stopping just before edge of the board. Then they all looked at me in shock. I might as well of had leprosy. They wondered, as did I, how could this kid - black combat boots, black army surplus pants, black wax trax records t-shirt, even hair dyed black - this kid - be conservative?

It troubled me all the way home on the bus. Some things started to make sense, though, like how I always identified with Michael J. Fox's character on Family Ties.

This memory was just sparked a couple nights ago. The night before the election, my mom called. We talked for a long time, I tried to explain why I could not vote for Obama (see previous post) and why George Bush was not an idiot (I regularly get practice at this one at work). She then shared with me that when I was just a kid (I was born in 1970) I'd watch the hearing against Nixon instead of cartoons. She'd go about her chores around the house then come in and I'd explain what had been going on. I don't remember this, I'll have to take her word on it, but it helps explain some things.

2008-11-05T19:16:00.004-05:00

Maybe if I write it out, I'll understand, but I cannot grasp the excitement for Obama as our next President. Don't get me wrong, I won't be whining for four years, "Well, he's not my president." I just can't get my head around how people sincerely believe it is governments role to provide for the underprivileged.

A pro-life guy myself, I understand that government must protect the oppressed and victims of injustice (Obama's support of partial birth abortion causes me to question if he's really concerned about victims of injustice). I get that much.

One clip on youtube had a lady saying that she is so excited about Obama being elected because she will not have to worry about paying her mortgage or putting gas in her car because he would help. What? People truly believe that is the role of government? There's no way. She has to be the exception.

She's not. Listening to people today at work, reading blogs, facebook statuses, etc, it's quite apparent that about 52% of us want government to take care of us. Not in the traditional national defense sense, but they want government to control gas prices, home prices; they want government to buy back all these bad loans, but want government to make sure banks keep lending to the folks they should not have been previously lending. Government has to make sure everyone has enough to eat, somewhere to sleep, that rich people share there money with those without; it needs to make sure everyone has health care.

Government is to make sure everyone plays nice in the sandbox; that everyone is treated fairly and that depends on who's definition of fair, because if you're a baby that miraculously survived an abortion, it's only fair for you to die, by their definition. But it is not fair to look at a suspected terrorists phone records. It's fair to compare our military to Hitler's stormtroopers while at the same time classifying terrorists as freedom fighters.

You know, besides the military (and that's most likely due to their training; maybe if all government employees had to experience similar training, I'd have a different opinion), I've not been all that impressed with the effectiveness or efficiency anything government has done. Just look at Fannie Mae, airport security, or the education system. Imagine what health care will look like run by the government.

2008-11-03T23:22:00.003-05:00

Abortion and divorce. I've been put into the position to reflect on both lately.

It's one of those things you know, but it's hard to live out. Rick preached on Isaiah 40 Sunday. I was struck by the idea that the nations are as dust on the scales to God. Here I am about to go nuts over the election, and this nation is just dust. How much less important this election! Talk having your priorities screwed up.

Do not get me wrong. I know the right answers (sometimes) and kept telling myself, Hey, the next president will be of God's choosing, no matter how anxious I get over it. But then I'd just get anxious all over again.

Do you have a problem living as if God is truly sovereign? I know we say that God is sovereign all the time, especially in a reformed church like Eastside, but do we believe it?

God is sovereign, but what are we going to do if so-and-so gets elected?

God is sovereign, but what if the marriage amendment does not pass?

God is sovereign, but what about my marriage? Should I get I divorce? I'm tired of trying to hold it together.

God is sovereign, but look at the injustice so many in our town suffer.

God is sovereign, but __________________ (fill in the blank)

As soon as I say 'but' I place myself ahead of God. He is sovereign. The story is all about Him. It is not about me. And what an amazing fact that He has called us to be part of that story; not as characters, but as means to glorify Him. And, to steal from John Piper, God desires we enjoy Him by glorifying Him.

My marriage is not about what I can get out of it. It's not about what I have to put into it. It's not about Emily's or my shortcomings as parents, or as husband and wife. It's not even about our love for each other. My marriage is about glorifying God.

Not that I want everyone wearing bracelets like the WWJD craze (unless I get a cut), but what would it look like if we approached life asking how can I glorify God through this situation? through this project? through this conflict?

(an aside, I remember a story I once heard perhaps by my old pastor, Dan Hendley. Anyways, he was in a Christian book store and saw a cap with WWJD on it. He asked the clerk what it meant. 'What Would Jesus Do', she answered. To which he responded, 'I don't think He'd spend $15 on that hat.')

And in regard to abortion, I'll write more later.

The Myth of the Post Modern

2008-10-01T21:52:00.004-04:00

I am a skeptic.

Last Saturday at the Peacemaker conference I sat in on a class titled Post-Modernism and The Local Church (Why Do They Want an iPod Church?). At ninety minutes, it was much too short, more of an introduction than any sort of in-depth study.

Just for a bit of credibility, I am a former philosophy major that saw more job security in pursuing poli sci. Not to mislead anyone, I've no degree; instead I've turned my energies increasingly toward my family, and to God (unfortunately in that order, though in recent years I've desired to seek to keep God above the idols scattered around me).

I've some grasp of Modern vs Post-Modern as generally discussed in the class, but was surprised when the instructor divided the class, basically into two groups: the Boomers (less post-modern) and Gen X, Y, etc (more post-modern). Holding tightly to post-modern as defined by today's twenty-somethings, he suggested that this new generation, the post-modern generation, approached life with a worldview so contrary to anything the boomers held dear it constituted more than a difference in outlooks between generations.

Given the term post-modern has been in use for over a hundred years and has had it's fair share of critics since it was first proposed, to suggest that technology has added to the schism that just happens to land at a major generation crux, is lacking.

Words have force. As a definition, a label, limits the thing described, it also focuses it's strength. To refuse to label, define, something, may expand it's reach, but it is weakened, more akin to a breeze than the crushing blow of a thing defined.

Today's post-modernists (they're right to reject this definition, as it somewhat contrary to their worldview) may oppose labels for themselves and most definitions in general, but, socially minded, many are strong advocates for the oppressed, the poor, the underprivileged. An incredible thing, this sense of social justice, that too many Christians have wrongly sacrificed on the alter of patriotism, of America.

The world is changing. Who knows where technology (or the economy, or politics) will land us in ten, twenty, or even fifty years, but this generation, which embraces all that technology offers, is no reaction to modernism. It is the continuing cycle of rejection of the previous generations values, ideals. It is even a rejection, in part, of the benefits of the technology it embraces. As the boomers grow older, tempering their values against the rough edges of experience and self-preservation, they become legitimate targets of this idealistic youth. As the boomers, though tempered, continue to worship self and not the creator, this new generation passionately seeks to push hedonism to previously uncharted territory.

All their values align too well with the values we held in high school (we were going to change the world, you know), just as they aligned with each previous generation, especially here in the US. The youth have always been more socially minded. Maybe this generation does have a greater sense of community that reaches across racial and social/economic divides, but after catching a snip-it of My Sweet Sixteen on MTV, it doesn't appear so (don't watch it - it's trash); no more than previous waves of youths over the history of the world. I'm more inclined to agree with the words of the Preacher:

Is there a thing of which it is said,
“See, this is new”?
It has been already
in the ages before us.

Ecclesiastes 1:10

Let My People Think

2008-09-15T20:43:00.005-04:00

On occasion I can interject a witty phrase in a timely manner. Usually, though, it is sometime later in the day (or the next morning) that the perfect 'zinger' comes to mind.

('Zinger' being defined as a word or group of words that concisely represent my point of view in a convincing manner. Ideally the 'zinger' is both humorous and thought-provoking. Worldly, the 'zinger' is often biting. I shy away from the vicious, yet when desiring something a little edgier, I choose sarcasm instead, which, in all honesty, does not come off much better.)

It's a beautiful thing to see humor and intelligence come together in a defense of the Bible, of Christ, and even God Himself. No one does it better than Ravi Zacharias.

RZIM has a daily devotional/thought-provoking email (A Slice of Infinity) to which I subscribe but often fail to read. Several days ago, Jill Carattini posted a piece call Scandalous Windows. A very good read. Convicting. About midway through she observes:

"Ours too are the cries of a desperate people, wrought with a sense of longing, yet burdened by a sense of depravity."

Yep.

Patches

2008-09-12T21:52:00.001-04:00

Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles

2008-08-28T10:55:00.000-04:00

Focus on the Family's Unplugged on Twilight

2008-08-26T10:43:00.002-04:00

To be honest, I've been waiting for this. Contains spoilers (thanks for the warning Melissa!)

Read it here.

Give me Your Eyes . . . updated

2008-08-23T20:27:00.004-04:00

This is an incredible song with amazing lyrics, convicting lyrics. I must confess I get so hung up on the minor struggles in my family and I, and the immediate sphere of influence around us that I am completely blind to the pain and troubles of those I am continually find myself in contact with.

Lord, give me Your Eyes so I can see. Amen.

Here's the video I found today (Monday)

Or

Listen here.

Give Me Your Eyes . . . on Mars!

2008-08-22T20:37:00.002-04:00

Remembering Frances

2008-08-19T23:40:00.002-04:00

I've always been impressed with how well I dealt with the severe blow and unexpected redirection Frances provided almost four years ago. Especially now, it is so easy to see God's hand guiding, protecting, loving us.

But tonight I'm watching Fay find her way up to Jacksonville, and I can feel the anxiety build slowly in me. When all is going well, it is easy to have that confident reliance in God, that "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away" faith. Then, in the other direction, how easy it is to be blind to His faithfulness and His blessings when weighed down with what He has taken away.

I don't know God's plan for us over the next few days. But if I'm honest, that's not completely true. I know He is working all things for the good of those who love Him. What else do I need to know?

2004 was rough year for Emily and I. God used Frances to move us out of our routine and closer to Him. It pained us to leave our church, our friends, our family. We're still trying to adapt to a home almost half the size of Palm Bay home.

Choosing to trust Him, to believe that "God is good all the time", even when storms approach, even as you clean up the mess they leave behind (even through the pain), is all you can do sometimes. In my life, it took God taking away things I placed between He and I that I might have the vision to choose Him.

Tagged?

2008-08-16T00:00:00.002-04:00

Emily had to explain the rules to me (since she tagged me, she felt obligated). While I struggled to get my head around Rule #4, Mike tagged me, too. Now Emily has called 'no-tag-backs' so I will falter on that point Rule #4. Here are the rules, for what it's worth:

1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks you possess.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Six unspectacular quirks:

1. I check the weather online about twenty-plus times a day.
2. I'm addicted to air-popped popcorn.
3. I dislike dreaming.
4. I can't wear wet socks.
5. Despite Emily's vocal objections, I'm still hopeful I'll have, one day, a motorcycle with a sidecar.
6. Though I pursued poli-sci in a former life, I cannot tolerate political emails.

I've never been too good with rules or keeping chains going, nor can I think of six people outside of those I've seen getting tagged over the past couple days.

Completely unrelated, your life will be incomplete until you check out the Cover Tune Grab Bag.

Kill Your TV?

2008-08-12T22:58:00.003-04:00

I don't know why, but I've been watching the Olympics. I've never been interested before. Though not I'm athletic by any means, I believe it's the typical male's over developed sense of competitiveness. Men can create a competition out of anything. I've found myself jumping up and down shouting at and cheering on some swimmer, half the world away (so you've got to be loud), I've never heard of prior to reading their name on the screen thirty seconds before. Then in the middle of my little victory dance back and forth in front of the television (being mindful that Emily is attempting to go back to sleep after being startled awake after my sudden yelping), in middle of all that excitement emerges the destroyer of my desire to watch any sporting event on television, commercials.

Not that they're all bad. I've learned that the corporate machine in America (especially car companies) loves nature and has been the leading force in the green movement. Also, Olympians desire McDonald's food more than any gold medal. I've been taught that I can do it, and they can help. I've come to know that Barack has never been on a construction site if he thinks the same hands that install roofs would ever be trusted to even touch a solar panel. And, I've learned that NBC can't promote a show from their fall line-up without sex.

That sucks.

I'm a just about a month and a half from having a teenage boy about the house. It would be nice to be able to watch some sports with him and his brothers. No, not all the commercials are trash, but enough are. I can steer clear of the lousy shows on tv these days, but how do you avoid the commercials? My folks mute the tv at every commercial break, but you still get the images of women in various states of undress.

So what do you do? I'm going to turn it off (well, right after Michael Phelps swims again in a few minutes. Go USA!)

Not Racoons . . . .

2008-07-31T15:31:00.003-04:00

. . . . hamsters are the real issue.

Extreme Home Take Over

2008-07-29T21:45:00.001-04:00

Ever wonder what happens to the extreme home make-over families?

Here's one story.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-28T21:04:00.007-04:00

Saw the new Batman movie yesterday. It is good. Extremely well written. I concur with Chris that this film is easily in my top five of all time.

Last week, I read Andrew Klavan's thoughts on the film. I definitely appreciate his insight.

I'll be getting back to the tv thing soon. Thanks for you patience.

In the meantime, do you agree with Mr. Klavan? What are your top five movies?

Apologies

2008-07-17T22:06:00.002-04:00

Emily said I sounded mean. She's pretty good about seeing things like that. If she was right, I am sorry. It wasn't my intention to offend, even if was only my wife.

I still believe my original goal is quite important, though I did not achieve it; it will have to be reworked my point later. I don't want to get away from the tv thing.

Again, my apologies to anyone else I wronged.

-Joshua

Is TV Bad?

2008-07-14T00:38:00.005-04:00

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV

A long time friend of Emily's made some interesting observations in her post regarding children's television. While I agree with her general theme that we need to be mindful to what our children are exposed, it prompted several other questions in my mind:

1. When should children be exposed to 'the world'?

2. Is the (dare I say it) 'liberal' slant of PBS programming dangerous in a Christian home where the parents (or parent) are actively involved in their children's lives and teaching them who God is?

3. With the popularity of shows like Oprah, Friends, Sex and the City, etc., even among many Christians, why are we only worried about the kids?

I'm going to work backward, starting with question 3. But it will be later this week. Until then, what do you think?

How to Enjoy

2008-07-09T23:13:00.003-04:00

Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.

enjoy
1. To receive pleasure or satisfaction from.
2. To have the use or benefit of: enjoys good health.

Maybe I need to break down and revisit my attempt to finish Piper's Desiring God. Maybe I need to read my Bible more. Maybe I need to pray more. I don't know.

What I do know is that I do not know how to enjoy myself without wondering if I'm just wasting time, energy, money, or some other resource that would better serve to glorify God by some other means.

According to the Shorter Catechism (quoted above), we're to glorify God and enjoy Him, not ourselves, right?

I feel like I'm in some old cartoon where there's an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. Only I feel there are two devils whispering.

"Let your hair down," one argues. "You're only hung up on God's blessings because you cannot accept His grace. Just like His gift of salvation, you want to earn it. You can't. Get over it and rest in His grace. Rest in the blessings He's given you. Suffering will return soon enough, so rest now."

But the other is just as persuasive. "How can you feel comfortable spending a most of the week at the beach? Granted it's not large funds being spent, you still have debts to be paid. Should not your energies be focused first on those obligations? Yes, you're payments are made on time, but there's still a balance to be paid. Not just that, but when was the last time you really gave sacrificially? When have you suffered because of your giving? When was the last time you gave all? I'm not just talking money, but what about giving up your time, or your energy, or your comfort to serve?"

I know God blesses me constantly. Fifty things just popped into my mind from the last couple days. I trust He is sovereign. And as a result I need to trust when He brings peace as well as suffering. At the same time I must be obedient. That means loving "the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

The place I've been before, but it seems distant now, is where I seek to glorify Him and enjoy Him before anything else. I'm not a fool, nor a legalist (is that a word?). I am certain without His grace, without His Spirit, I'll never be moved toward such a goal. But once I am seeking only Him, once I have removed every desire for anything before Him, crushed every idol, no matter what is happening around me whether it is suffering, or peace, or vacations at the beach, if He is object of my enjoyment, I've hit the mark.

Look Busy

2008-06-26T00:31:00.002-04:00

"And those servants went out into the roads and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good. So the wedding hall was filled with guests. But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment. And he said to him, Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen." (Matthew 22:10-14, ESV)

"If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned." (John 15:6, ESV)

"I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." (Revelation 3:15,16, ESV)

I cannot remember the first place it caught my eye. It may have been on some biker's helmet; one of those small stickers with the catchy, typically un-Biblical sayings. This guy must have been dealing with some issues with God, because two stickers, almost side by side, mentioned Jesus. The first one, "Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a jerk" (Only a more colorful word for jerk), besides the uncreative, vulgar language, wasn't all that offensive. The second one, though, highlighted the grasp of God this man possessed, yet he mocked Him. It read, "Jesus is coming, look busy."

If you did not (a) reject God, and (b) have some understanding of scripture, this would not be funny. Or, maybe I'm just not giving the guy enough credit. Perhaps it was a sharp criticism of the busyness of the Church, yet it's rejection of what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Social action and service is a staple of a believer's life in Christ, but when the cost of service is the sacrifice of doctrine, it's time to reevaluate who you're serving.

If you know me, you know I'm no fan of 'herd mentality.' I was working on my facebook profile and it has a place for political views. Facebook really wants you to pick a political party so it can not just group you with like minded people, but target more advertising toward you. But I couldn't find "conservative, anti-isolationist and moralistic libertarian, with a social conscious, an interest in conservation, and a love for the constitution" as a political party so I just typed in "Undecided." I can often be cynical, questioning everything. Even 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says, "but test everything; hold fast what is good." As a benefit of my instant reaction to doubt everything I am told, I can now hold firmly to and build my life on the fact that God is good, all the time.

And I've to test myself, too. "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves." (2 Corinthians 13:5a) Too often I dismiss the incredible gravity of God's grace when I've my feet beneath me. And when I don't, its weight humbles me, breaks me, and draws me to Him. It's in the tension between grace and obedience that I ask myself this question:

Bad or good, am I dressed for the feast, or just a wedding crasher?

Careful What You Pray For . . .

2008-06-07T00:34:00.004-04:00

I'm letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe
So I'm letting go

-Francesca Battistelli - I'm Letting Go
From the album My Paper Heart

No matter what it takes I will offer,
Everything I am I give to you
Even unto death I will follow,
No matter what the price I will give to you now

-Jeremy Camp - No Matter What It Takes
From the album Beyond Measure

When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God
Somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

-Relient K - Getting Into You
From the album Two Lefts Don't Make A Right...

The three songs above are getting pretty good rotation on air1 lately. All three convict me. If I'm not good at waiting, letting go is another degree of challenge altogether. The sermon series at our church, though exploring 1 Corinthians, Isaiah, ect, over a couple years seems to hover around the concept of idols. More specifically the need to identify and destroy any idol in our life as they separate us from God.

I'm learning to let go of my plans and dreams. I am learning to desire Him, and His plans and dreams for me.

When Emily and I were engaged we asked someone we respected how we could be sure our desire to be married was God's desire for us. First he asked if we sought God first, if we did, then the desires of our hearts were His desires. Yeah. Kinda like Descartes' "I think therefore I am."

Knowing where God has led me and where I am right now, I did not truly desire God first at the time. To be honest, I'm a lot like the old Methodist preacher Robert Robinson (assuming Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing is autobiographical):

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

"Prone to leave the God I love." It seems like a contradiction, but how rich the truth of a Christian's life this side of glory. Every time I sing the words, I am pained that I fail the very One I love. But it is He that can seal our hearts, not us. It is He who binds us in His goodness so that we can never wander too far.

This goodness, this grace, amazing grace, draws us to Him. Like the 'woman of the city' in Luke 7, I understand what it means to be forgiven much, very much. And now that I focus my will that I may be nearer to Him (despite my wandering flesh), I dare pray the songs above, even "no matter what the price I will give to you now." How freeing it is to also pray, "Father God, that You may be glorified, do what You need to do in my life: take my hopes, my dreams, my desires, take anything that prevents me from truly following You. Open the eyes of my heart. Amen"

Waiting

2008-05-22T20:41:00.004-04:00

"Now behold, there was a man named Joseph, a council member, a good and just man. He had not consented to their decision and deed. He was from Arimathea, a city of the Jews, who himself was also waiting for the kingdom of God." Luke 23:50, 51 (NKJV)

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" Psalm 27:14 (ESV)

It was a Sunday early in our marriage. We were visiting Emily's mom in Jacksonville. Emily's sister, Cathron, and her family were here also. Church was out and being hungry, we headed to Olive Garden for lunch. Most of Jacksonville's, at least Arlington's, after-church crowd also appeared to desire Italian for lunch; they were on the waiting list prior to our arrival. We were told to expect a 30-35 minute wait.

It seems like it was a warm day, so all of those waiting to eat, including the 9 or 10 in our party, were uncomfortably close to each other in the small vestibule . I enjoyed having some time to catch up with everyone, but this is a good time to reiterate some very important facts:

1. Everyone was hungry,
2. We had young children with us,
3. It was Sunday, after-church, and
4. We were all very hungry.

We patiently waited, even watching some who came in after us receive tables before us. When we were not seated (our party of 9 or 10) at the expected 30-35 minutes, a quiet discontent began to surface in all the adults of our party, except me. 45 minutes into our wait, the quiet discontent had grown into the adults of our party, except me, sharing critical comments that were clearly audible to those around us, as well as to the hostesses, whom they were intended to sting. A few minutes later the adults of our party (again, except me) were so disgusted, not just with the wait, but also with being misled about the length of the wait, they decided we were leaving.

It is here that I wish I could claim to suffer from some disorder characterized by crazed lunacy brought on by a lack of food, or crowds, or Sunday afternoons.

Leave?!? I was beside myself. We'd just invested nearly an hour of our time and patience to get a table and now we were leaving?!? We're the next party on the list, it's Sunday afternoon; where were we going to go to have less of a wait? Being a man of discipline, and willpower, I bit my tongue and quietly pressed through the crowded vestibule as these thoughts tumbled over one another in my head.

But once I was outside I (please remember I was hungry) my thoughts exploded from within in an attention grabbing verbal tirade that could be heard all over the parking lot. I stomped around in my madness, all the while blurting out my disbelief that we were leaving. As my blood boiled I turned my back on my party, still shouting, and headed for the car.

I don't know if it was because she was my wife, or if there was some sort of flipping of a coin, but Emily followed me out to the car. With the expertise of Jack Hanna coaxing a rabid animal into cage, she led me back into the restaurant. Our party was now seated. I humbly grabbed a chair on the kids' end of the table and surveyed the stares from the patrons at the surrounding tables. It was obvious many assumed I was out on a weekend pass.

We have a hard time waiting.

What are you waiting for?

Live Writer, Etc

2008-05-16T22:42:00.001-04:00

Bored, I actually went to my Windows Live home page to see what was there. Web surfing is the armchair quarterback's version of exploration. Almost all the excitement, but without the intoxicating rush of adrenaline one gets just before death at the hand of some aboriginal you've angered, intentionally or otherwise. Deftly wielding my mouse as if a machete, I find myself looking through the viney clutter of sidebar ads at a new tool called Live Writer. I've only skimmed the numerous tools it provides a for your blog entries. Perhaps it'll inspire me to be somewhat more creative. We'll see. I would not recommend anyone hold their breath.

She & Him are playing in the background as I type (an mp3 album download from amazon). She is Zoey Deschanel (she was in Elf). Him is M.Ward. It's a mellow, sixties-esque, indie/folk/country sound. It's very mellow. And very cool. You can download a free mp3 from download.com, or just listen.

Karma? My wife's a hoot. Please don't worry too much for her (in this area, at least); she's not converting to hinduism.

Goodnight, Gracie.

Different Things

2008-04-14T22:31:00.003-04:00

I don’t know why I’m posting anything. I’m tired and it’s way too late to say anything creative, inspiring, or humorous. Emily’s been awesome with her posts. I’m excited to see Melissa and Eric had a great vacation, as well as the O’Donnell’s, though I am, along with everyone else it appears, missing Robin’s posts. And the political landscape has changed with Cobra Commander entering the presidential race.

It has been very busy here. Colette (Emily’s sister) and Warren were here last week. The boys had a fantastic time spending time with their cousins out at the cabins of Hanna Park, as well as Elise. Emily’s mom captured some of Anna-Kate’s and Elise’s time together. The week before that the boys celebrated spring break with various nights spent away from home with friends or at Gramma’s. Several times while at Gramma’s they’d head out to mow just as the rain came in for the afternoon. They are either very lucky or budding meteorologists.

As Emily posted, this past weekend we attended a marriage conference hosted at our church. Emily and I have our moments of conflict (another of Emily’s posts), but I did not truly see the need for us to attend the conference, save for the time we’d get to spend together. What an encouraging message of the sacredness of marriage. Wow. I don’t want to say he wasn’t convicting, because he was; it’s just that it was 100% guilt-free. No matter the state of your marriage, I can’t imagine not walking out of there standing a bit more upright and closer together. Our church has posted the audio. It’s well worth hearing.

Pupa and Nana are visiting this week. Again Emily beat me with her post. Emmett is enjoying some time out at Hanna Park with them again tonight. Tomorrow night, we’ll be at the Y for rock climbing, the Cummer Museum and Gardens for a little sophistication, and then off to one of the boys’ favorite restaurants, CiCi’s, for dinner.

Largest Loser; Phase One is Over

2008-04-04T23:32:00.005-04:00

April 2nd we wrapped it up. Curtis took home the big money, losing 41 pounds (about 20% of his body weight). Donnie, a sleeper til the last few weeks, ended up losing about 35 lbs (15%). Ray and I lost about 30 lbs each (13% and 14% respectively). Bob brought up the rear with a loss of almost 23 pounds (10%). He admitted at the end that 20 lbs was all he planned on losing, not believing the rest of us would even come close. All together, the five of us lost almost 160 pounds in the three months of the contest. It was much fun.

Phase Two starts the 10th.

Sowing & Reaping

2008-03-26T21:20:00.008-04:00

John-Thomas will be climbing in his first competition this weekend. Being in Gainesville, we thought we'd look up Mike, his godfather, and catch up some while we were down there. Em tried calling with no success. So tonight, I googled and googled for about twenty minutes trying different keywords until I tracked down what I hope is a good email address. But he's now in California.

Mike and I went to high school together. For quite some time, I'd say we were best friends. Mike gave me my first Bible. No big gospel spiel, just a simple challenge, five minutes a day. I never succeeded; it was more like five minutes a month. Only recently have I managed his original proposition. Still, God used his concern for me to plant the seed that others would harvest. In fact, when Mike and Tami were married, quite some time ago, Mike introduced me at the rehearsal dinner as his 'heathen friend'. It was greeted by a bunch of nervous laughter by Tami's Southern Baptist family.

God blessed Mike with charisma. He'd make friends instantly whether in a boardroom or working with at-risk kids. I've never known him to hold back; he has always been daring and honest, and appreciated for it. I've missed much of his adult life, but the little I remember from high school (it's been fun reflecting on all the stuff we did: powder-puff cheerleadering, publishing an underground newspaper, working on the literary magazine, drama, plays, multiple classes, near expulsion our junior year, prom, skipping school to go to Vero, etc, etc), coupled with the times we've caught up over the years, God has always been with him, throughout multiple challenges and blessings. I've forgotten how much I miss him. I hope it is a good email address.

* * *
It was five or six years after Mike gave me that Bible, that I gave my life to Christ (as much as a dead man can offer anything!). Emily patiently and carefully led me toward Him, as my eyes were gradually opened. A million little things had to fall in place, and they did. God is good.

* * *
So who planted the Gospel in your life? Who harvested? Are you still in contact with them? Not just that, but in whose life are you planting? Harvesting?

Piper on the "Prosperity Gospel" (pause my music first)

2008-03-05T12:50:00.006-05:00

The Weight Gain Buddha

2008-03-03T14:05:00.007-05:00

Donnie's the buddha's buddy this week. I'm down to 194.2 lbs after a week of not losing anything. I'm excited about the weight loss, but the contest itself has been just as much fun.

Distracted?

2008-03-02T21:08:00.003-05:00

Are you ever distracted in church? I don't know what it was this morning, but, boy, I could not reel in my thoughts at all during any of the worship songs/hymns. Even my note taking during the sermon was sketchy, and it was a good sermon.

But then during the communion music, God allowed me pull it together. Wow. What an awesome God! To seek me, find me, and draw me to Himself, despite my best efforts.

The time during communion, resting in Him, so refreshed my soul. I could not help but wonder, though, imagine the mountain top if I'd been as in tune during the whole service! God is good, all the time.

Does Clutter Make you Fat?

2008-02-22T22:49:00.006-05:00

I am so ripping off Robin's title (Does clutter make you fat?, February 9th). It's a great title. I've written at least three entries for this title so far (two explaining why it does and one detailing why it won’t), but deleted each one. Today, during my class, I wrote six pages of notes so that I can finally post something.

Does clutter make you fat? No. But it will keep you fat. Ever since Robin wrote that blog entry, the title has been rolling around in my head. What is clutter? Around the home it’s either necessary items not in their proper place (school books scattered in the hall) or it can simply be too much of things we really don’t need (I’m not a big fan of the ‘knick-knack’). In our lives, it’s pretty much the same.

I’ve been trying to clean up the clutter in my life, all the things that are not in their proper place and all the things I really don’t need. Things like Emily, the kids, my job, even my health are all necessary responsibilities with which God has blessed me. But they all need to be kept in their proper place, namely second to God. Still other things (tv) need to trimmed back (or removed all together) especially if I am working on the responsibilities I mentioned as necessary.

One big thing lately is my health. For a while I’ve tried to use Emily and the kids as a motivation to lose weight and be healthier, but it took the competition at work to kick start me. Exercise and diet will not guarantee a life without trouble, but the odds are it will be longer and a better quality. For so long I could not see beyond the momentary satisfaction of sautéed shrimp over rice, or pancakes, or snicker-doodles. Exercise, whether jumping rope or walking at the Y, and learning to just say no to brownies, has really been lousy during the moment, but, boy, after losing almost twenty pounds, I feel so much better. One of the guys in the competition has been able to quit his insulin because his sugar’s been okay. It’s that kind of thing that keeps me plugging along.

I’m not saying I’ll never have another brownie, maybe after I get my weight under control. God wants us to enjoy his creation. But like an alcoholic, I’ve used food as an escape from the moment. I convinced myself that I’d done something to deserve that Reese’s cup. Also like an alcoholic, going cold turkey is the best way for me; cold turkey slices over a bed of baby spinach leaves.

But I need to clean up the other clutter, too. Especially any clutter I’ve stacked in front of God, clutter I use to escape. Even my pursuit to lose weight can become an idol. Too many of the things that provide an instant, temporary joy become idols to me, such as sleeping in, tv, web surfing, movies, etc. They’re not necessarily evil on their own, but once I give them a better seat at the table than God, they’re clutter.

God must be first. He has decided to bless me in so many ways. I know He is sovereign, but I am called to be a good steward, even with His blessings.

Lord, help me identify and smash the idols cluttering my view of You. And Lord, please help me rest in Your grace while serving obediently. Be my escape. Amen.

Conversion

2008-02-17T22:43:00.011-05:00

Pastor Brinkman taught on missions today during the education hour. I'm ripping this point off him. He credited the source correctly on the power point, but I cannot remember.

Our conversion is three-fold: 1) our commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ, 2) our commitment to the Church, and 3) our commitment to the world.

In other words, are you passionate about Christ? Are you passionate about the Church? Are you passionate about the world?

He went on to quote several other folks (John Piper stands out the strongest) to present the idea that missions is foundational to good theology. I believe it was Piper who said you are either a Goer, a Sender, or Disobedient. If missions is not on your theological must-do list, it's time to re-evaluate the list.

I did not take good notes so if you want to hear it for yourself click here.

(Emily told me to add a weigh-in update from last Wednesday. I won last week, losing just over 4 lbs from the week before. I'm currently in 2nd overall with a weight loss of 19.2 lbs and under 200 lbs for the 1st time in many years. I never thought I could do it. There's a cost. I haven't had more than a couple pieces of bread since the first of the year, and maybe a couple bites of pasta and ice cream, oh, and a couple cookies. Do not be discouraged. God is good and will give you the will power. If you really want to lose weight, just like if you want to give your life over to Him, it WILL require sacrifice. It will cost you. Commitment, in almost every case, requires a radical restructuring of your priorities. Some say weight loss is not worth giving up desert, bread, or pasta. Some say they can focus their life on a holy God while not avoiding the trash on tv or in movies (I hate having to give up movies; I so wanted to see Jumper) such as sex outside of marriage and sexually suggestive humor. I'm down to only one tv show, Lost, and the previews for next week look like I'm going to have to give it up also. I don't want to come off legalistic or self-righteous or harsh. I fail in every way I've mentioned above. Let me repeat that, I fail in every eay I listed above, and more. But I am trying to be practical. The old programmers maxim works outside of writing code: garbage in, garbage out; physically and spiritually.)

Quick Update

2008-02-06T23:23:00.000-05:00

Still losing, down 14.6 lbs so far. Donnie and Ray both went up, a little, from last week. Curtis is still chugging along, winning the past two weeks, for a total of 19.2 lbs. He's almost reached his goal of 180. Maybe that will slow him down so I can have a chance to catch up and win a week or two before the end on April 2nd. Since Donnie gained the most, his desk is now host to an ugly wooden budha holding a hot dog. I'll trying to get a photo. It's really ugly.

Sacrifice

2008-01-24T12:26:00.000-05:00

I'd like to believe I sacrifice for the sake of others. I know what it means to sacrifice. I've sacrificed my enjoyment of flour tortillas and biscuits to lose weight. I constantly sacrifice time for myself to spend time with the kids, at extra church activities, or even when someone calls and asks for my help on something.

But that's not really sacrifice.

Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury. And many who were rich put in much. Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites, which make a quadrans. So He called His disciples to Himself and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood." Mark 12:41-44

Sacrifice is giving what is inconvenient. Mercy requires a sacrifice of your time, and usually a part of your heart. It does not fit into your schedule. It will mess up your plans. You will get hurt and dirty. If I only give up my sin (commonly in my case, a persistent self-centeredness) that is not sacrifice. I find my sacrifice is often out of my 'abundance' and has rarely, if ever, been my 'whole livelihood.'

(This week's weigh in: Ray was the big loser again, another 4.4 pounds, for a total of 17.8. I only lost another 1.4, for a total of 11 pounds. Our group has lost a total of 59 pounds in the first three weeks. Yea, Ray!)

Largest Loser: Week 3 Weigh-in

2008-01-16T11:39:00.000-05:00

Way to go Ray! At least I moved up to third for this week!

..................Week 2 ........Week 3 .......Weight Loss...... Percentage .........Ranking
Josh.......... 212.2 ............207.4........... 4.8 .......................2.26% ....................3
Ray........... 236.0 ...........229.4 ............6.6....................... 2.80% ...................1
Curtis .......195.8 ............191............... 4.8 ........................2.45% ...................2
Bob ...........210.8............ 209 ..............1.8 ........................0.85% ...................5
Don ...........220.4 ............217.4 ...........3.0....................... 1.36% ...................4

Totals....... 1075.2 ..........1054.2 ........21.0 ......................1.95%

Largest Loser

2008-01-09T23:19:00.000-05:00

Okay. The guys I work with, including myself needed to lose some weight. Knowing that men are naturally driven by competition, we drafted some rules:

1. Initial weigh-in date is January 2, 2008. Entry fee is $20.00. Subsequent weigh-ins will occur each Wednesday through April 2, 2008 (13 weeks in all). Each subsequent week of participation requires $5.00 at weigh-in, or your next work day if you are off on Weigh-in Wednesday.
2. Prizes. All fees are non-refundable. 100% of entry fee will be applied to final pay-out on April 2nd. Weekly payout will be based on the previous week’s weight and will be $10.00. The remaining amount of the funds collected each week will be added to the April 2nd payout.
3. Determining Winners. Weight loss will be calculated as a percentage of initial weight. For example, if initial weight of two people is 250 lbs and 220 lbs, and their weight loss is 50 lbs and 46 lbs, respectively, the one who loss 46 lbs wins because they loss 21% of their initial weight, versus 20% of the other contestant.
4. During initial weigh-in pockets will be emptied. All weigh-ins will occur without shoes.
Any cheating will be dealt with according to the severity of the offense. Providing other contestants with cakes, cookies, shrimp pies, or other baked goods, even if excepted willingly, may be considered cheating.
5. Unexpected circumstances. Only accidental loss of digits or limbs, will count as lost weight. If death occurs, whether by lack of food or exercise, the last recorded weigh-in weight will be considered your final weight. If irritability results in death at the hand of your spouse, your last recorded weigh-in weight will be considered your final weight and she will still be required to contribute your weekly fee for all weeks remaining.
6. No dropping out without doctor-approved illness.

Today was our first competitive day. Only losing 4.8 lbs (2.2%), I came in fourth. Curtis lost 5.8 (2.88%), Ray lost 6.8 (2.8%), Donnie lost 5.2 (2.4%)and Bob lost 4.0 (1.8%). So one week is behind us. Curtis took home the $10.00. It's going to be more challenging than I originally thought. But we lost 26.6 lbs collectively in the first week! How cool is that?

Here comes Santa Claus

2007-12-20T23:20:00.000-05:00

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,

Right down Santa Claus Lane

Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer

Pullin' on the reins

Bells are ringin', children singin'

All is merry and bright

Hang your stockings and say your prayers'

Cause Santa Claus comes tonight!

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,

Right down Santa Claus Lane

He's got a bag that's filled with toys

For boys and girls again

Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,

Oh what a beautiful sightSo jump in bed and cover your head, 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight!

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,

Right down Santa Claus Lane

He doesn't care if you're rich or poor

He loves you just the same

Santa Claus knows we're all God's children

That makes everything right

So fill your hearts with Christmas cheer

'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight!

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,

Right down Santa Claus Lane

He'll come around when the chimes ring out

That it's Christmas morn again

Peace on earth will come to all

If we just follow the light

So let's give thanks to the lord above

That Santa Claus comes tonight!

Off Limits

2007-12-13T23:14:00.000-05:00

Interesting stuff.

Off Limits

Check it out.

Immaculate Conception Catholic Church

2007-12-10T20:43:00.000-05:00

To the Rescue

2007-12-03T17:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know some of you are way too organized and have already completed your Christmas shopping, but there is another 97% who still have a least one gift to buy yet. So for all the normal people out there who still looking for that perfect gift, let me make a couple suggestions:

1. Tabletalk magazine - a monthly devotional magazine and more. Intelligent. Convicting. From Ligonier Ministries

2. An Uncle Milton Ant Farm

3. The old Fat Albert and the Cosby kids on DVD

4. Tickets to Graceland

5. A genuine meteorite (a bit on the high end)

6. Hymns Ancient and Modern

7. Stunt Driving School (Beginner's Level, of course)

8. A slime science kit

9. Brer Rabbit Blackstrap Molasses, and

10. Puncture resistant insoles.

As always, you can thank me later.

Merry Christmas!

I'll never know how much it cost

2007-11-25T20:37:00.000-05:00

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.
To look on Him and pardon me.
(Before the Throne of God Above)

This morning they lit the first candle of Advent, the Candle of Hope. I say 'they' due the fact 'we' arrived a bit late and, much to Emily's dismay, had to sit in the overflow "room" (a small section at the rear of the sanctuary where late-comers are placed in an effort, through shame and poor acoustics, to teach them the sin of arriving after the sanctuary doors are shut) and in the last row at that.

Hope. In the ESV, hope is mentioned 5 times in verses 24 and 25 of Romans 8. Verse 24 ends with, "For who hope for what he sees?" I do.

Well, let me explain. Granted it is not as spiritual as our hope in Christ, but I hope for a God-centered adult life for my children. On a more day-to-day application, I hope from my children an obedience that honors their mother and I. With our oldest, I see, more and more frequently, not an unquestioning obedience that Emily not simply desires but often requires to keep the day on task, but the parent honoring obedience that God requires of him.

Now our youngest still challenges me. One moment her bold defiant actions erase any spiritual growth I thought I'd achieved as anger creeps up to the surface of my flesh, then in an instant, a smile and her sweet "Sorry, Daddy," even if insincere, disarms me. Still I hope for her life to be God-centered, despite her stubbornness and ability to give rise to mine. I see little fruit in that area, but still I hope.

Who in your life have you written off? Scott asked this question as he preached this morning, only in slightly different context. Who in your life do you no longer have hope for? Who do you believe Christ can no longer redeem? Since, most often, I find myself preaching to myself through my writing, Matthew 7:6 came to mind in my defense. "Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you." Why bother with the dogs and pigs? Why should I waste my time, my energy, my life on them. Then I reread it, "Do not give to dogs what is holy." I am not holy, the preceding (and following) verses make that clear. The verse clearly refers to God's Word and God Himself.

If God has hardened someone's heart to the Gospel, sharing God's Word will be fruitless. But God does not say do not serve this person, do not pray for this person. In fact the Wesley commentary on Matthew 7:6,7, & 8 suggests that the Bible instructs us to pray for that person.

Despite my faults (they are many) and the mistakes I've made (they are even more), Emily has bound her life to mine even tighter. When I think about her love and devotion to me, especially in light of the hardships to which I've subjected her and our children, I am amazed. She demonstrates Christ's love for me. And how much more amazing that a Holy, Holy, Holy God would love me to send His Son to die for me.

Emily has not written me off. She has hope in the promise that Christ will complete this good work. Again, I am finding myself defensive. So, how many times do I have to let myself be hurt? Be let down? How many times is enough, how much pain is enough, how much sacrifice is enough, before I can write this person off, before I can move on?

I guess it depends who the example for your life is. I can think of many folks who would have told you that you have given too much of yourself already. Some may advice you to hang on a little longer. I know it can't be perfectly achieved this side of heaven, but if Christ is your example . . . Not an easy route, is it? Christ, Himself, when looking at the pain and suffering before Him asked His Father if there was another way, but in God-honoring obedience gave Himself up.

Father God, You know my sin, it is ever before me, yet You saved me. Strengthen me to love and serve as Jesus. Make me bold to share what You have done for even me. Thank you also for Emily. And, Father God, thank you for hope. Amen.

Will there be football in Heaven?

2007-11-19T19:17:00.000-05:00

Marlon asks the best questions. Real and obvious questions that, in my pursuit to be more spiritual than you, I miss. "Will there be football in heaven?" Typically his questions send me into a state of semi-meditation as I draw from my memory scripture, sermons I've heard, and items I've read to avoid some blasphemous response. Today, I was relieved to have a such a quick response to his question: "I don't know."

He loves football, wants to play for his school, but didn't make the team because he was too small. Though a new believer, his faith is such that it's not a deal breaker, but it's important to him. He's disappointed in my answer, then adds, "I hope so."

"Me, too."

I get up and shout when the Seminoles play well (actually when they don't play well also) but I would not consider myself a football fan. Yesterday, Emmett and I were on the way home from Wal-Mart when we heard this odd sound. A quick survey revealed its source: a van painted in the the Jaguar's team colors accented by Jaguar logos of various sizes as well as the trademark paw print. I can only presume the sound was a musical horn, played too loud, bombarding those of us around him with some, very distorted, Jaguar fight song. These guys were football fans.

When does something like football cease being a God-given desire of our heart and become another self-created idol, seducing our affections from our bridegroom? To steal from Pastor Brinkman, we rarely replace God with an idol, but we decorate His throne room with them.

I'd make a good Pharisee, maybe (I might be too lazy); I know the importance of an air of righteousness. With the rich young ruler, I can say, "All these things I have kept from my youth." But God knows my heart. "You still lack one thing. [Insert a command for me to give up my idols here]."

Furthermore, He calls me out, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder . . . " (Matthew 5:21-30, NKJV ; You can look it up. You Navigators and Baptists have already found it. For the rest of you, it's the first book of the New Testament).

Before I realize the waves are now breaking above my knees, He sees me sinking. And just as He sent His son to satisfy His wrath against me, He sends His Spirit to sanctify me, "Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weakness. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered." (Romans 8:26)

So what will heaven be like? Will there be pets? Books? The ocean? I don't know. All I know is we'll be with Him, there will no more sin, and no more sadness.

In the meantime, if you hear some weird noise, don't worry; it's just His Spirit praying double time for me.

Too Long Between Posts

2007-10-26T20:54:00.000-04:00

I don't know where to begin. There are a million things going through, or at least, have gone through my head since the last time I posted. Instead of exhausting one, perhaps I'll hit some briefly.

What are you sowing? "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap." (Gal 6:7 NKJV) I seem to remember story told by different preachers about an interview with a Native American who had been converted to Christianity in his youth. He was now middle-aged and the interviewer asked how the whole Christian walk thing was going. The Indian replied that it was as if two dogs, one Godly, one fleshly, were fighting inside him. The interviewer followed with, Well, which one wins? The one I feed the most, he replied.

So, I'm mentoring this thirteen year old boy, using the KAA program (go to 'Camps', then 'Christian Growth Training'. I'm using the Ambassador lessons. It's good stuff.). Depending on well you know me, I don't mind if you take a few minutes here to gather yourself together after, first falling out of your chair laughing, then sobbing uncontrollably for the boy. He asks some great questions. God calls us to serve others, but I am certain by doing so, we get far more out of the deal than they.

Met Cathron and Dave (Em's sister and her husband) in Franklin, NC the end of last week. They have their share of challenges and corresponding growth, but both have been rocks in my family's lives since before Emily and I were even married. It's great because their boys are several years older than ours so we get a bit of a preview of what's to come, plus we get to learn what works and what doesn't from fellow believers who, while facing challenges or admitting mistakes, desire their faith to be lived out by being 'hands and feet'. That said, Dave has been reading and is really impressed with the book unChristian.

One of the recent topics in the KAA Ambassador material was the fruit of the spirit (Gal 5:22-23). First I've got a question to all you out there. The verse has a singular subject and verb ('fruit' and 'is'), then lists nine characteristics of this fruit. I've always heard it taught as nine distinct 'fruits' but that is not what the verse says (granted I only checked three translations, KJV, NKJV, and ESV). So what is it, one or nine? Secondly, we started going through the characteristics and defining them from scripture. Love was easy (well, at least to define, 1 Cor 13, not to live out accordingly). It gets especially hard when you get down to verse 7 with its "bears all things" and "endures all things." Kinda reminds me what Paul is saying back in Gal 6:1 & 2. ". . . restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted." and "Bear one another's burdens." I think too often, in an effort to keep my hands clean, I define burdens as spiritual burdens. It's the context of the chapter, and it's easier that way.

God extremely blessed me by allowing me attend, finally, a 2nd Mile Ministry youth night last night. Just a fly on the wall, but how incredible, these kids showing up on their own accord, fighting to be one of the lucky ones who'd be able to catch a ride to church with the 2MM staff. 2MM took a group of kids to KAA this summer (and last) and has organized the mentoring I taking part in. God is working through them to reach the kids in the Brentwood area of Jacksonville (just north, relatively, of downtown).

I'll wrap up with some awesome verses to go to sleep by, Rom 8:37-39: "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (ESV)

Frustrating God

2007-10-08T21:55:00.000-04:00

How strong are you? When God calls, is anyone capable of saying no? I used to have a pastor who said, "The only person God can't save you from is yourself." In all honesty, that sucks! I'm the only one I need saving from!

I remember having lunch about that same time with a friend who was reading Watchman Nee. According to my friend's paraphrase, Nee states that you cannot change God's plans, but you can frustrate them.

Free will is alright, but it's like a car stuck in the mud. The car has all of the ability to shoot forward a 100 mile per hour (well maybe not our minivan), but unless the conditions under the tires allow, it's not going anywhere. Praise God!

If not for the sovereignty of God, all our prayers, even our very salvation, would be in jeopardy.

So, I've a friend with a problem. Mistakes, uninformed decisions, etc has led to a lousy situation. Now that friend loves God, seeks Him constantly, gives so much energy to serve Him, so why did He let this problem arise? Why did He not move others to pull along side and warn of the situation ahead? Why did He lead us here? What direction should we head now? When? How far? With what resources?

And why has He surrounded me with grace (a sermon here, a book there, here some grace, there some grace, everywhere grace, grace)? Is it just to point me to the gospel? Probably that simple. Love as I have loved, I'm back to John 15 again. I do not love as Jesus does. I cannot, yet He calls me to do so. Grace. Obedience. Beautiful, how beautiful, to see things afresh.

Existential Christianity. (Went to wikipedia just to make sure I wasn't too far off with where I am going and found they've an entry titled Christian existentialism. Then I went to the Jacksonville library site and put a hold on a couple Kierkegaard's books and a Francis Schaeffer item.) Thank God our salvation is not dependent on our obedience. Even better, Grace transforms obedience from something unobtainable to a privilege. To steal from a couple of new friends, GIGATT (God is good, all the time!)

Our life is what happens as we experience it. God has authored it from the beginning to the end. As I was telling Marlon, we cannot surprise God. It is His story. How cool it is to be part of it! So I live each second as it happens, sometimes well, frequently not. Don't get me wrong. There's food in the refrigerator; I recognize consequences, so we plan ahead, some. At the same time, I hope to avoid planning that may blind my vision to Him. It's all to His glory; even Joseph's brothers failed to hamstring or frustrate God!

So I pray for my friend. I pray for direction. I pray I keep my eyes on Him, because I cannot see at all where He will lead through the next few weeks. I pray He picks my feet up on puts them on His path, sometimes I'd rather be comfortable. Why get involved?

All I know in the end is that I am thankful that I cannot frustrate God's plans, and, also, that He can save me from myself!

The Gospel, Practically

2007-09-16T21:55:00.000-04:00

Small groups started meeting again last week.

(I've gotta stop here and almost do a completely different post in parenthesis. I love small group. There's no better place on Wednesday evening! We have a fun, laid back, kingdom seeking group. We don't get it right all the time, so I fit right in. God's been so good lately. When I'm not trying to get my head around the 'why', I get overcome with a flood of thankfulness springing forth from somewhere deep within. He's opened my heart to see Him. Joy. There's more to share on this, but it will have to be another post.)

Our small group's study (after some much needed fellowship over some finger food and desserts) is a discussion of Sunday's sermon. It's great because whatever questions you had during the preaching, you can present to the group. We've been working through Romans on Sunday, and we were talking about chapter 6. Rusty presented the question,"What does being a slave to sin mean to you?"

I slipped up and let my PCA background show (right in front of the group!). I gave a solid doctrinal answer about us understanding our position before a Holy God and thus our need for Christ's sacrifice. Everything was all fine and dandy until the question moved around the room to a gentleman new to the group.

He answered, "Well, it might not be doctrinally correct, but how I face being a slave to sin in a practical way is . . ."

What audacity! What a maroon! Study the Bible to see how to love God and serve Him practically?!? But in truth, what genius, what Christ-likeness. I wasn't much use the rest of the conversation. I was distracted. My mind kept going back to one word, practical.

So, where does my faith meet the road? I am always amazed with the honesty in the ladies' blog entries. Their observations of their own selfishness hit home. Even this blog right now, who is it for? I'd like to believe it might help someone realize that they're not the only one trying to keep their feet beneath them, but I know that at least part of the reason is that I am doing it for myself.

James has been the topic in the adult Sunday school class. Talk about making the Gospel practical! A quick skim over this small book and you'd think he's contradicting letter after letter of Paul's, but no, it's God as much as Ephesians 2. We've looked over facing trials, and started getting into the whole faith vs works funness.

How do you live the Gospel in a practical manner? I don't know exactly. I know I need to love people more by serving them. I know I've responsibilities to my wife, kids, employer, etc, but there's a lot of time left over after I fall short in those areas for me to step out in faith and serve. Anyways, what may be practical for one may not work universally.

So, beyond the general 'love and serve', what are some more specific ways we can love the world? Please share. I believe everyone should have someone outside their immediate family that they are either discipling/mentoring or at least, a peer they're walking beside. I truly believe our culture has placed an emphasis on family to the exclusion of community. I don't do this right myself, but the more I encourage the focus of our family to outside our home, God equips me a little bit more with an attitude and a will that can be bent to His.

Time with Him in prayer and the Word refreshes and strengthens. When you charge a set batteries, it's not just to have a set of charged batteries, it's to use that energy doing something. I need to remember to do something.

But it'll have to be tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

Trying Something New

2007-09-16T19:36:00.000-04:00

I've got to talk to someone about this book, Velvet Elvis, so I've added another blog. Check out Josh's Book Club.

I'm not giving up on this blog. Actually working on a real post now.

Cool Evening, Warm Fire

2007-09-09T22:32:00.000-04:00

Okay so it wasn't all that cool and the fire was more hot than merely warm, but the whole reason of this post is to illustrate what happens when home improvements are posted on blogs. All of a sudden I've to clean up our fire pit. I should have taken a "before" photo.

All kidding aside, I'm very happy with the result and thus thankful for Melissa's post and Eric's hard work to encourage me.

We even roasted some marshmallows!

Why do we fall?

2007-09-04T21:22:00.000-04:00

It's kinda like spelunking.

Starting out, I was hunched over and uncomfortable. Sometimes it was so tight I found myself crawling. Muscles I never use ached. I began to doubt my decision to even come. The walls were too close, the darkness even closer. Everything in me was screaming, "Go back," but there was a hope that strengthened me, pushing me on. Oh, what peace when you yield to that hope! Then everything opens up, joy.

Everything opens up, like someone removing the blinders. And as I press on, He continues to fuel me with His hope, sharing His light. As the light disperses the darkness, more and more of the beauty and expanse of the cavern is revealed. His light even penetrates that sin I've hid within, forcing me to let go of it. The overwhelming glory of what He has revealed further proclaims His majesty and might, even His terrifying Holiness. Yet by His grace He chose me, however minuscule, to witness this glory, to share in His righteousness.

Its a journey better shared. Since we moved I've failed to cultivate a friendship with a fellow brother to the point of sharpening iron. As a husband and a father, and an employee, etc, I've sacrificed, foolishly, time and energy I should have put into my friendships. R. Kent Hughes hits the nail on the head. "Friendship is not optional. . . [you] need Christian male friends who have a same-sex understanding of the serpentine passages of your heart . . ." (Disciplines of a Godly Man)

Men have a tendency to isolate themselves. Whatever the excuse, this separation leads, ultimately, to discouragement. The Bible strengthens us, yes, and convicts us. Isolated, I have a tendency, no matter how many books or blogs I read, to feel I am the only man out there who fails. I am the only man out there who does not consistently discipline my children. I am the only man out there that is not instructing my children as God has called me. I am the only man out there that fails to continually honor, encourage and lift up my wife. I am the only man who fails to lay down his life for his wife. I am the only man out there that does not love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my strength and with all my mind. Discouragement.

Knowing other men more than superficially, floods the church with grace. As I get to know the men in my church and their failings, they become more to me than the guy with the kids who sit still through the sermon and has it all together, more than the man that always asks the perfect question in Sunday school. They become genuine. As I get to know the men in my church, I am encouraged. I am able to witness the fresh fruits of His presence and His grace in areas where they struggle. I am encouraged because, as I get to know these men, I realize I am not alone.

Miscellanous Agenda

2007-08-28T23:11:00.000-04:00

1. Reading Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis. It's made me mad a couple times. He leads right to the edge of the Gospel, capturing it differently than you'll read else where, then heads in another direction. I'm only on page 64, so I can't tell if it's intentional or not, yet. Like the Eric and Melissa said, this book will make you think. It's helped me capture some thoughts that have keeping in the dusty shadows; it's put some flesh on them. Again the disclaimer that I'm only on page 64, but the book is dangerous. It will challenge your beliefs, especially if you come from a "traditional" Christian background. You need to be strong enough to keep your footing.

2. You need to check out Red Mountain Music's Depth's of Mercy. Satisfied is incredible.

3. More on Rob Bell. The Boundless Line (a Focus on the Family blog) had some interesting things to say about comments he made while touring for his second book, Sex God. And while you're at the Boundless Line, check out some of the other entries.

4. I don't know how to describe it, but if your sense of humor is a little off, you might enjoy SteveBrownEtc. I love it and Emily just rolls her eyes. (Steve Brown's more serious side can be found at Keylife).

See ya on the flip side. (whatever that means)

Only at the Melting Pot, or Don't Ask, Don't Tell

2007-08-25T18:29:00.000-04:00

Emily found this odd lamp on craigs list. It reminded me of the ineffective lamps at the Melting Pot, which reminded me of my one and only time of dining there. It happened something like this . . .

I dated once or twice before I met Emily. One of the differences between a dating relationship and marriage (especially after you have children) is the quality and expense of an eatery when dining out. On this particular occasion (I'm sure in an effort to impress the girl I was dating at the time), I chose the Melting Pot. She'd mentioned the place before and was, in fact, impressed (ah, success) when I pulled into the parking lot.

I'm not sure if all Melting Pot's are like the one in Tallahassee. Like the old man slowly drinking his brandy, much to the waiters' chagrin, I enjoy a clean, well lighted place. I assume they do it for atmosphere, or maybe to lower the utility bill, but the restaurant was very dimly lit. I guess it's romantic, in a medieval dungeon sort of way, the use of low wattage bulbs behind obscure orange shades, but it seemed they needed a pocket flashlight to take us to our table.

After about an hour and a half of slowly cooking my meal one bite at a time in luke warm oil, I was still hungry and looking forward to desert. During the course of the meal I managed to drink about four glasses of sweet tea, so I decided a quick restroom break was in order prior to our chocolate fondue.

After that long in a darkened chamber, one's eyes become quite adjusted to the lack of light. Which is quite unfortunate when you walk into the men's room which (I guess it is a state health department requirement) is lit with 200 watt fluorescent bulbs. I felt the fire scalding my retinas as I walked in the door.

After finishing up I stumbled my way back to the table, completely blind. The hostess, apparently familiar with the situation, pointed me toward the back of the place. I was still unable to see as I slid back into the booth. I rubbed my eyes and shared the whole ordeal, scalding and all, with my date, occasionally dipping a piece of fresh fruit into the chocolate and slowly savoring it. Why bother with the meal in this place? It's the desert everyone is really there for anyways. Plus it would have cost almost thirty dollars less and I'd still have two hours of the evening to spend with my date somewhere I'd actually be able to see her.

After sharing the story with her, and eating probably more than my share of the fruit (and I was still hungry), my eyes were finally adjusting to the flicking orange light. I could just make out my date's hair when she spoke, "What the hell are you doing?!?" It was a man's voice. I squinted and leaned toward her. It was a guy! A guy with long hair! UGH!

I quickly got up and found my date several tables over and again ate more than my share of the fruit. At least, I wasn't hungry anymore.

God Be Merciful to Me (Psalm 51)

2007-08-25T09:12:00.000-04:00

1. God, be merciful to me;

On Thy grace I rest my plea

Plenteous in compassion Thou,

Blot out my transgressions now;

Wash me, make me pure within;

Cleanse, O cleanse me from my sin.

2. My transgressions I confess;

Grief and guilt my soul oppress.

I have sinned against Thy grace,

And provoked Thee to Thy face.

I confess Thy judgement just;

Speechless, I Thy mercy trust.

3. I am evil, born in sin;

Thou desirest truth within.

Thou alone my Savior art,

Teach Thy wisdom to my heart;

Make me pure, Thy grace bestow,

Wash me whiter than the snow.

4. Broken, humbled to the dust

By Thy wrath and judgment just,

Let my contrite heart rejoice,

And in gladness hear Thy voice;

From my sins O hide Thy face,

Blot them out in boundless grace.

5. Gracious God, my heart renew,

Make my spirit right and true.

Cast me not away from Thee,

Let Thy Spirit dwell in me;

Thy salvation's joy impart,

Steadfast make my willing heart.

6. Sinners then shall learn from me,

And return, O God, to Thee

Savior all my guilt remove,

And my tongue shall sing Thy love

Touch my silent lips, O Lord,

And my mouth shall praise accord

All the time!

2007-08-24T16:36:00.000-04:00

I am not disciplined. My Bible reading ebbs and flows, as does the times I set aside for prayer. I am reasonably successful with the duties required by my employer, so on the occasions my discipline rolls in, tumbling on my faith like a wave on the beach, I find myself flirting with legalism and guilt. Shouldn’t I desire Paul’s dedication? Shouldn’t I lie myself down as a bondservant of Christ’s and recognize Him as my ultimate employer? Why do I not give Him the same commitment I give my earthly employer? Christ gave His life and suffered violently for my sin; what have I done for Him lately? Oops, there’s that line.

Now as the pendulum races back toward grace, I am no more disciplined than before. To be honest, I’m not all that comfortable on the grace side of the beach. I need the motivation that guilt provides as I allow it to manipulate the blessed conviction of the Holy Spirit. I need that motivation to somehow achieve something, anything that will raise me above my sin. Oh, it would be a joy if I could witness the legalism in my heart so easily. But Satan too often whispers in shadows, and too often uses the ugly truth of my failures, my sin, to keep me away from His truth, His grace, the Gospel.

Over the last few evenings, I’ve closed the day with reading Proverbs, starting at the beginning. God, so lovingly, called me to desire His word through the first couple chapters, but Satan poisoned it with guilt, using His precious Word to drive me from Him. How could I ever follow wisdom, follow His lead, as to avoid the sneers He sets for the wicked. Your own heart is much more like the heart of the wicked than His, Satan whispered.

Why should I keep reading this stuff? There’s no way I can ever deserve what He offers. Guilt laden and discouraged, I continued another nonetheless.

My son, do not forget my teaching,but let your heart keep my commandments,
for length of days and years of lifeand peace they will add to you. Proverbs 3:1-2 ESV

Wow. His love shone in these words. “And peace they will add to you.” And His peace broke in a long curl, sweeping with a gentle strength all the way to the dune line. And as it pulled back, He washed all that guilt, the shame, the roots of legalism, the doubt of the power and significance of His grace, away. And when they tried to creep back, He used Robin’s A/C testimony to wash it away, again.

I don’t know why it still amazes me, but I love it when He gives us what we need, just as we need it.

Rejoice in the wife of your youth

2007-08-05T22:11:00.000-04:00

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband (Pr 12:4 ESV)

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. (Pr 18:22 ESV)

An excellent wife who can find?She is far more precious than jewels. (Pr 31:10 ESV)

I have been blessed with an excellent wife. I know I do not honor as I should. There are times I do not love her as Christ loves the church. She works diligently with no pay and few thanks. She continually sacrifices for me and the kids. She deserves so much more than I could ever give. She is smart, fun, beautiful, and makes me laugh. She seeks the Lord and encourages me more than she'll ever know. Thank you, Emily. I love you!

Grace

2007-07-29T13:29:00.000-04:00

His skin strained to escape the piercing cold of the park bench. A moist fog fell from the moonless night, coating everything in its path with a thick dew as it rolled out over the park. His body continued to fight for his attention. His stomach knotted in hunger, his toes aflame with the hints of frostbite, even the screeching in his head that pounded continually now could not draw his thoughts from the pit of his guilt. Where was that first mistake? When did it all gone wrong?

With clarity that had escaped him for years, he examined every step, every breath, every glance, every action. For several weeks now, he made this bench his home as he slowly rewound his life, placing each moment beneath the magnifying glass. Hundreds of would be futures spread out into the darkness like a web as he exposed poor decision after poor decision. But where was that first mistake?!

Bean appeared too tall for his age. The weight of despair had long hunched over most of the elderly homeless in the park, but Bean stood upright. The heat that comforted his hands earlier in the evening, spread from a cup of coffee to Bean. The small crumpled bag, no doubt containing the apple, and perhaps some bread, that Bean procured daily, sat beside him. Where did I first mess up? Bean would be back in the morning. He shook his head. He needed to stay focused.

How could he be so content? Bean's hope shone. What was it Bean said earlier? He meant to remember it. What was it? The cold bit at him and he shivered, drawing his thoughts out of that past. A warmth spread through him. He remembered. He'd been trying to tell Bean he did not belong here, this was not the world he knew. Bean listened. His eyes shone with understanding and compassion. All the pain of failure had poured forth with no means of restraint. And Bean listened.

When he had finally run dry, they sat, silent, as the day gently slipped away. After a brief eternity, Bean spoke, "You know, we're just beggars, all of us. Beggars telling other beggars where we've found bread."

What is my goal?

2007-07-28T21:31:00.000-04:00

The July 28th entry in My Utmost for His Highest opens with, "We are apt to imagine that Jesus Christ constrains us, and we obey Him, He will lead us to great success. We must never put our dreams of success as God's purpose for us; His purpose may be exactly the opposite." It calls to mind Romans 9:20 & 21, "But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, Why have you made me like this? Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?"

The Utmost entry is titled "After Obedience --- What?" After obedience? The title itself knocked me back, and how much more the words that followed. How could this man who died 90 years ago know me so well? I am not obedient, so why even glance at the other side of this insurmountable precipice? It defines obedience.

How many times have I ignored His call because I felt insufficient? Or because I've held more tightly to the guilt of my sin than to the cross and His grace? "I am not spiritual enough to . . ." "I do not read my Bible enough to . . . " "I am too sinful to . . ."

I need to be continually reminded that it is odedience to His call that strengthens me spiritually. It is obedience that draws me into His Word and aids to put my sin in its proper place. The July 28th entry puts me feet back on the road, "if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious."

Right where I began

2007-07-17T19:28:00.000-04:00

"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct" 1 Peter 1:13-15 (ESV)

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8 (ESV)

I don't know why I am having such a time getting my head around this "whole man" idea. It's not the concept as much as the conviction, the conviction to bring the whole man under obedience. Like the 1 Peter verse above, the challenge is escaping from the shadow of our former selves into holiness. But what a peace it is to know that, as B.B. Warfield put it, "the redemption wrought by the Lord Jesus Christ . . . renews me in the whole man after the image of God."

What is the whole man? It is everything. Every thought and every action. It is where I spend my time and my money. It's how I choose to relate to those around me and how I choose to relate to God.

I believe it was John Calvin who said we are idol making factories. Meditating on the whole man thing this week, I've found parts of my life, of me, I've not given to Him. I have not loved the Lord my God with all my heart, or with all my soul, or with all my mind (Matthew 22:37). I've been placing idols between myself and God.

So tonight, we tried it again: family devotion. We broke out My Time with God for Students, Training Hearts Teaching Minds, and even read Romans 9 (Q.7. What are the decrees of God? provoked some interesting discussion) The boys asked good questions. It's motivating to see them thinking about God and who He is.

An idol smashed.

Whole Man, Continued

2007-07-17T19:12:00.000-04:00

"If Christianity is really true, then it involves the whole man, including his intellect and creativeness. Christianity is not just 'dogmatically' true or 'doctrinally' true. Rather, it is true to what is there, true in the whole area of the whole man in all of life."

Francis Schaeffer

Princeton Theolgical Seminary, New Jersey

2007-07-16T20:38:00.000-04:00

"I believe that the redemption wrought by the Lord Jesus Christ is effectually applied to all His people by the Holy Spirit, who works faith in me and thereby unites me to Christ, renews me in the whole man after the image of God, and enables me more and more to die unto sin and to live unto righteousness; until His gracious work having been completed in me, I shall be received into glory; in which great hope abiding, I must ever strive to perfect holiness in the fear of God."

B.B. Warfield, point 15 of A Brief and Untechnical Statement of the Reformed Faith

Westminster Abbey, London, 1647

2007-07-15T22:30:00.000-04:00

What are the duties required in the first commandment?

The duties required in the first commandment are,

the knowing and acknowledging of God to be the only true God, and our God;

and to worship and glorify him accordingly, by thinking, meditating, remembering, highly esteeming, honoring, adoring, choosing, loving, desiring, fearing of him;

believing him;

trusting, hoping, delighting, rejoicing in him;

being zealous for him;

calling upon him, giving all praise and thanks, and yielding all obedience and submission to him with the whole man;

being careful in all things to please him, and sorrowful when in anything he is offended;

and walking humbly with him.

(Westminster Larger Catechism, 1647, Question 104)

Arequipa, Peru

2007-07-14T22:27:00.000-04:00

Without using mapquest or google maps, how do you get from the Sebastian Inlet, Florida, to Arequipa, Peru, in a pontoon boat?

I received a call this week from someone who means a great deal to me. She is just beginning the process of getting some paperwork together to complete and return to some state agency. On top of the annoyance of dealing with bureaucratic redtape (of which she's only starting to see the beginning), she facing the fact it is something she should have already done, maybe even a couple years ago. Seeing an opening, the past heaped a good portion of discouragement and condemnation on her. And, now that I reflect on it, fear.

What is fear? We fear what we cannot control. The person who called me feared the consequences of her procrastination; she feared the process and the outcome of labor that must be put forth as she works through the paperwork and bureaucracy.

It seems I recently heard a pastor teach about his need to be in control. He recognized it as a fault, a stumbling block that had caused him to fall. I remember thinking, "I know I've my own host of issues, but the need for control is not an area where I fail." What is it? Pride comes before a fall? This week revealed my need to control things. But when I do, I keep God small.

I am unable to control my past. I am unable to control others. I am unable to control the future. I am predisposed to fear these things. Again, the person who called felt the condemnation of not pursuing these avenues available to her sooner. I told her, we can't change the past, but we can act now, and that affects the future. She's no idiot. I revealed nothing new to her, but she needed to hear it spoken aloud and from someone else.

I say it all the time. God is sovereign. He is in control of all things. I know it, but my actions too often reveal I don't believe it. When I seek to take the reigns from Him, I make God small. I believe that is why "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge"; He is in control of all things. In obedience we are to relinquish all control to Him.

On the July 8th entry of My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers says, "Will is the whole man active. I cannot give up my will, I must exercise it. I must will to obey, and I must will to receive God's spirit." Will is the whole man active. Will is the whole man active. Will is the whole man active. I am not frequently active, and when I am, it is most certainly not the whole man.

Too often I consider studying and meditating on God's word, attending church, and passively praying to be the extent of my Christian walk. When the Holy Spirit convicts me, I am forced to recognize that it is not walking, it's sitting back. Some of my favorite scripture is Paul's description of the full armor of God in Ephesians. What is armor for? It is for battle. Too often I find myself making it a museum piece. "Here is the Full Armor of God fitted for Josh circa 2007. It's pristine state is a direct result of two conditions: One, years of careful maintenance, and two, it was never worn in battle."

So, how do you get from the Sebastian Inlet to Arequipa in a pontoon boat? God.

A week and a half ago, as rain built up to the south of us, my dad pulled the boat up onto the south bank of the inlet. My son played shortly with another boy on the playground, while we talked and admired the newer buildings in the park. The rain held off and we decided to head for the dock (another adventure altogether), but as we started to load up, a man walked down from a pavilion toward us. It was Jesse, the father of a boy that once worked for me. Their family and ours has grown close through multiple connections through the years. During his conversation with my father and grandfather, it came up that Brian, his son, and Neal, another boy who worked for me at one time, had been to Peru on a mission trip. How cool! God is so good.

Later that day, my wife and I headed out to the mall while my folks watched the kids. Date night at the food court. On the way, 91.9, Christian FM, gave an update on a recent mission trip to Peru to help build a radio station. Could it be? Yes. Tonight I finally remembered to check their website for the Arequipa Peru Mission 2007. There they were, no longer boys but men. Active men going to battle. Again, how cool!

Map from GoogleMaps

Channel Marker 73: Sebastian, Fla

2007-07-07T22:19:00.000-04:00

I love Sebastian. It's not because it wants to be known as a quaint coastal fishing village when it grows up. Last week, when driving through Sebastian on US1, passing Capt. Hiram's Resort, a small shopping area called the Village Square and hearing about their annual Clambake in November, I found they're close to pulling it off.

It's not even due to the joy I find being out on the intercoastal swimming or fishing. I've even considered the possibility that since it where I spent my high school years, and my parents still live there, that it is home to me. But my home is with my wife and kids in Jax. So, why do I love Sebastian? It's where my folks, my family, live.

With some in Micco, others scattered in Ft. Pierce and Vero, grandparents in Sebastian, it is a place to touch base with where I came from so I can more easily see where I want to go. Each one of them colors who I am in some way (there is no way I am even going to attempt to say who and how; I'll inevitably leave someone out). Too often I wander around with blinders, excusing it as being "focused". As I result I am frequently humbled to see character traits I long for my boys (even me) to emulate where I never thought to look. Being around family helps me see we all are made in the image of God.

Each visit helps me grow. I never see it when I am there. In fact, I probably devolve to some extent simply by finding myself in too comfortable of surroundings. But tonight, almost twenty-four hours since we returned home, I can see more clearly. I can see my path more easily, the highground and the snares that line the trail. I can see where I need to step up as a father, and as a husband. And I can see, too clearly, where I fail to pursue Him. Going back to the place where you grew up, where you spent those teen years that molded you, tested you, going back can shed light on old sins that still plague us.

You know I ran across an old box of letters
While I was bagging up some clothes for Goodwill
But you know I had to laugh at the same old struggles
That plagued me then are plaguing me still
I know the road is long from the ground to glory
But a boy can hope he's getting some place
But you see, I'm running from the very clothes I'm wearing
And dressed like this I'm fit for the chase

'Cause no, there is none righteous
Not one who understands
There is none who seek God
No not one, I said no not one
So I am thankful that I'm incapable
Of doing any good on my own

'Cause we're all stillborn and dead in our transgressions
We're shackled up to the sin we hold so dear
So what part can I play in the work of redemption
I can't refuse, I cannot add a thing

That is from Thankful by Caedmon's Call (an incredible song by a band that has captured my thoughts perfectly in song multiple times). Again, why do I love Sebastian? It makes me better.

Mile Marker One: New Orleans

2007-06-29T21:08:00.000-04:00

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?

I'd always loved that song, especially after reading several novels in high school set in New Orleans. Those books stirred in me a desire for a city I'd never visited. I longed to stroll through the garden district under the weight of the humid air and the perfume of the flower rich gardens, to hear the menagerie of music pouring from the doors of the bars in the French Quarter, and to see the mighty Mississippi.

Twenty years after that seed of desire was planted, I found myself, part of a group of fourteen people I really didn't know, heading for the city I've always wanted to see. Only now that city, almost two years after Katrina, needed me. This unlikely band in which God placed me included Glen. In the late eighties, Glen made his way into New Orleans to share the gospel with people of poverty-stricken Central City about the same time some shady novels about vampires and witches (books I pray my kids never pick up) placed New Orleans in my heart. Urban Impact and Castlerock Community Church (http://www.urbanimpact.org/) had grown out of the vision God place before Glen. It was this ministry that would host our week in NO.

I hate being away from Emily and the kids. In our twelve and half years of marriage, I can count the times I headed off somewhere without her on one hand. Stepping outside my comfort zone, I followed His nudging and went.

NO is not the town out of those novels, or Deja Vu. But, then again, it is. If some therapist asked NO to lay down on the couch, an hour later the words "manic-depressive" would be written in huge letter across their notes. NO is a city of extremes. As you drive through the streets of Central City, you become worn yourself. The homes and yards are rundown and dilapidated. And it was this way long before Katrina. Then, two blocks over, huge oaks line St. Charles Avenue, and behind the large oaks, even larger homes. In seconds, the overwhelming poverty you'd just witnessed is washed away with the subtly ornate homes and the beauty of their yards. The beauty and the size of the homes continue to swell until you come up on Loyola and it's beautiful campus. The wealth of the area is not gaudy, but it is clearly evident.

Story after story continues to praise the work of the church in NO. It is the church feeding the poor, providing housing for the homeless, but most importantly bringing hope to NO through sharing and living the gospel. God is at work in New Orleans. Then, a couple miles down from the Urban Imapct ministry house, is Bourbon Street. I couldn't but enjoy the music pouring out of the doors of the bars. In fact I longed to stop and listen, but strip clubs, half naked women, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and vomit assaulted most of folks in the group and we walked faster, hearing even less music than before. There at the intersection of Bourbon and Canal, a group of kids, all black (if your white, you're in the minority in NO) playing horns. Their music inspiring many of the locals to dance and sway. Overwhelmed my group pressed on, wanting only to return to the ministry house and cleanse their senses of the sin they'd wandered through.

Generational Poverty. Vast Wealth. The gospel-driven church. Total depravity. New Orleans knows extremes. The only thing caught in the middle are the people.

If a girl can do it . . .

2007-06-28T22:20:00.000-04:00

Like most men, I enjoy a new toy. Watching Emily create and organize her blog fascinated me. What features can I add?! What are the bells and whistles?! I highly doubt I will compete with her diligence to post daily. Finding the time probably won't be the issue, but to jot down enough semi-coherent, or even mildly intelligent, thoughts that would hold a person's interest will be the challenge.

One thing is certain, this will be a long ride, so sit back, get comfortable, maybe even roll down the window and let the wind blow your hair around. We're going on a road trip.

Two things I request of You
(Deprive me not before I die):
Remove falsehood and lies far from me;
Give me neither poverty nor riches-
Feed me with the food allotted for me;
Lest I be full and deny You,
And say, "Who is the Lord?"
Or lest I be poor and steal,
And profane the name of my God.
Proverbs 30:7-9 (NKJV)